Category
Transport
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10.21.03The Fellowship and the RingThe man sitting next to me on the suburban shuttle bus may have been a doctor, though he didn't look like one at first glance. He spread his papers out on top of his briefcase, perched on his knees. As they spread out and over into my cramped space, I noticed that he was scribbling notes on an application for a fellowship position at a local oncology department. As he scrawled notes and we passed the pond, his mobile rang in his pocket and across the chilly morning and the hush of the bus, a polyphonic version of Club Tropicana rang ...
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09.17.03EavesdroppingsTraffic jam on the way home. A mother plonked her shiny-haired toddler down on the seat beside me, while she sat behind. He wriggled and writhed and fiddled with my handbag, tickled my thigh and squeezed the side of my breast, behind my bicep. I put up with it because he was under three. In the seat in front, a woman with an SW accent had a protracted conversation with a friend, which over the course of 800 metres and about 20 minutes of slow moving traffic, covered topics as diverse as:SantoriniAustraliansNursesSandy bikini bottomsTeachersDublinVarious weddingsSepticemiaNew jobHospital bugsStoke NewingtonPoor mannersBarnes barsHangoversThe funeral ...
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08.10.03StrokeHottest day ever in the UK, apparently. I know, I'll shut up about the weather at some point, I promise. Trouble is, when it's this clammy, it's actually quite difficult to concentrate on anything else. Anyway. With another scorcher predicted, P and I jumped in the car and headed once more for points south, ending up this time in....West Wittering again. Well, it's just what you need on a day like this. And it *was*. What we needed. Exactly what was required: a chance to enjoy the summer rather than resenting it (or watching it swelter from behind corporate smoked glass ...
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08.04.03Overseen[what's the visual equivalent of eavesdropping anyway?] When they get on the bus, near the bridge, I assume that they are together, because they are so close. His pace matches hers exactly, and when she sits down on a seat near the back of the bus, I'm surprised that he does not join her. He takes a seat directly behind, and as the bus lurches off, propelling us forward in our seats, he closes his eyes, just for a millisecond longer than strictly required. Perhaps he is tired. Perhaps he is dizzy from the heat. Or perhaps he is briefly inhaling ...
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08.04.03OverheardOn the bus yesterday, from a seat somewhere behind me, though I was unable to see the conversants. Him: "Can we play charades?" Her: "No" Him: "Why not?" Her: "I don't want to" [beat] Him: "Why not?" Her: "Because I want to look out of the window at what's going on." Him: "OK" [One minute passes] Him: "There's nothing going on. Can we play charades now?" Her: "No" Him: "Oh WHY not?" Her: "Look, just BECAUSE, OK?" [Another minute passes] Him: "Oh, go on" Her: "No" Him: "But WHY?" Her: "Stop acting like a fucking five year old, Mark. Look, you're 28 years old, and this is getting boring. " [beat] Him: "I only wanted to play fucking charades."
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07.28.03Rapunzel on the 409London bus companies are participating in a conspiracy to make the city's travellers feel like giants. Moving the bus seats closer together a millimetre at a time means we feel as if we are slowly growing, no longer able to comfortably fit into the spaces they allow us. I have played space invaders on public transport for years. Mostly, it's someone's knee, thigh, elbow or bag, quietly competing with you for minute gains in seat or standing room territory. This morning, it was someone's hair. Continue Reading...
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03.06.03Citylink FlierThe rules which do not apply to you include red lights, no smoking signs, one way streets and age limit instructions. These rules do not apply to you becayse you are different. You see yourself as some sort of exceptional exception - different and perhaps slightly more important than the rest of us. If there is a double seat with a window, and a double seat where the view is obscured by a wall, you and your big-haired husband are automatically entitled to the spot with the view - despite the fact that I've been sitting in it since four stops ago. ...
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02.16.03On the tube on the way to the demo"I dug out my old CND badge for this, look!""Oh, that's marvellous. I found an old ANC badge. It's not really relevant, but I thought it was in the spirit of things, you know?""Oh yes, absolutely""I found this one at home, 'Free Nelson Mandela' - Jane modified it with a permanent marker this morning, see?""I added an exclamation mark, just there.""Certainly makes it a bit more relevant! Ha ha!"[they laugh]"You know, the last demo we were on was to save the Mermaid theatre,""Oh really? We missed that one - we were in the Dordogne, I think.""Oh yes, I remember - ...
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02.01.03Recent uncharitable thoughtsTo the man who had his personal stereo up unfeasibly loud on the District line between Embankment and Earl's Court: I like The Streets. I approve of your musical choice. But must you share the auditory joy with everyone in the carriage? I was going to say 'I hope you go deaf at an early age' but since you only have one earpiece plugged in (the other, dangling around your neck and broadcasting tinnily to the nation), let me modify that uncharitable sentiment to 'I hope you go deaf at an early age in one ear'.To the couple in the ...
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02.01.03And relaaaxWell, that was about as complicated and stressful as anticipated. Trains pretending to go from Brighton through to Bedford, but actually missing out (read: stopping short) the crucial middle bit of the journey, from Blackfriars (where I tried to get on - and let me assure you, a platform over the Thames is no place to be in a wind chill) to Moorgate. I completed most of the circle line, finally joining the (stopping at every single station in the 'burbs) train at Farringdon. A few hours later, and I was eating homemade chocolate mousse and drinking a nice pinot ...
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