meish dot org: life, unfolding

I’ve got to agree with Zoe Williams about people abbreviating words when sending text messages. It smacks of laziness, and besides, there’s no real need when so many new mobile phones have predictive text input. So using text abbreviations now is an affectation – and a rather droll one, at that.

There are only a handful of people who send me messages containing strange TXT shorthand – 2morrow, l8r, CU nxt wk and so on – and it bugs the shit out of me, for reasons I’m not entirely sure of. What I do know is this – I usually take as much effort in replying to them as they have in messaging me in the first place – i.e. very little.

My other friends, however, the ones who know how to make 160 characters speak volumes, get the replies they deserve – full of care and attention and proper spelling.

While we’re on the subject, can I just point out something else about text messages that I don’t get? Those little books – The little bk of txt msgs and whatnot, which retail on cardshop counters for £1.99 and contain lots of little messages, chat up lines, insults and jokes you can put into your phone and send to all your friends.

The mind boggles. What lack of originality must a person have in order to require a book telling them what to send to their own friends?

I’m very much looking forward to seeing “The little book of postcards” for next time I go on holiday – full of such gems as “weather is here, wish you were lovely” and the like. *Yawn*

And another thing. I think I need to get myself a predictive text plugin for my boyfriend – I seem to spend an awful lot of time these last couple of weeks going:

Me: “Honey, could you get me the….the…”
Him: “The what?”
Me: “The…thingy…the…you know…the…the telly guide”
Him: [looks at me strangely] “Right. Where is it?”
Me: “It’s in the….the….”
Him: “Where? The kitchen? The living room? Where?”
Me: “…the….the bedroom! Aha!”
Him: “Sure.” [looks at me strangely]

Bless him, he’s trying so hard. I think I need a….a…you know…one of those things….a… bugger, you know what I mean…a….ah yes, I remember. A holiday.

Rarely did a product justly deserve such tmesis: the London Vindigo client is un-frickin-believable. Loads of info on where to eat, shop and play across town (and not just the centre either), including mini reviews, directions and recommendations. Fan-bloody-tastic.

I’ve just been talking to Steve about the European/North American mobile-phone/PDA split. In this month’s WIRED, there’s an interesting article that basically says the PDA is by far the gadget of choice in the US, but in Europe it’s the phone – so there’s this cross-cultural swap the big companies have to do – here they try to make phones more like PDAs – there they make PDAs more like phones.

Is this true? Do Europeans have more phones than our chums across the pond? And has the lack of north american cellular infrastructure boosted the PDA indusrty?

Oh my god. I just saw the best commerical I’ve seen in absolutely ages, reminding me exactly how much I love North American TV. This product has restored my faith single-handedly. It’s a product I think Luke would really really appreciate, and I’m tempted to get it for him – except I doubt they ship this marvel of modern invention overseas. It would be excellent to have something to put on the mantlepiece next to the lovely Fabio – it’s Boogie Bass. It sings! It dances! It tells jokes! And it’s only $19.99! Mounted on a plaque, Boogie Bass has a built-in motion detector, so when your friends come over to admire your catch, won’t they be surprised when the fish turns to them and starts singing?! I love it.

This is the kind of product that is constantly lampooned (like Saturday Night Live’s infamous Dan Ackroyd/Bass-O-Matic skit) – but the Boogie Bass actually exists! Of course, you know full well that it’s the kind of thing which would be vaguely amusing for the first 20 minutes of ownership, maybe even as long as it took you to dupe a friend, and then the novelty would rapidly pale. Much like musical doorbell chimes: you can only listen to a badly midi-ized version of the William Tell overture once before you rip out the batteries and revert to knocking. Trust me. This comes from personal experience.

I used to have a boyfriend like this, years ago, when mobile phones and PDAs were newfangled and clunky and the size of bricks.

His jacket used to weigh about 2 stone, I remember, and he always had to bring the whole kit with him, wherever we went, because there was no such thing as device convergence.

At the time, I found it immensely irritating…now I’m a bit like that myself…..