Category
Silly
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11.21.04Communication skills c/o Ze FrankThe indomitable Ze Frank shares how he uses punctuation to surreptitiously get his true message across to asshats. Reading some of my communications through this filter makes for some interesting reading! :)
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11.09.04Corporate funCorporate fun posters for you to print and display. SPREAD ANGUISH! CREATE UNEASE! GET YOUR ARSE OUT OF THAT CHAIR! Download the posters, print them and hang them in your office. Put them in normal places, where no one will suspect they're fake. Fellow employees willl be angry and frustrated feeling the unbearable weight of tiranic management on their backs. Managers won't dare remove them because there's always the possibility of it coming from someone higher than them. It's the ultimate office fun! So, help the revolution and put your poster up today. With any luck we'll get enough people angry so something ...
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08.14.04From the weird news departmentBurning bunny destroys cricket pavillion. You couldn't make this stuff up.
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07.25.04Ready, Steady…FLYMO!Lawn mower racing - whatever next? This URL was spotted on a sign next to the A29, causing much pondering in the car as to the likely format of a 12 hour lawnmower race (Who can cut the most grass? Whe can go the furthest?)... ...and then it occured to me that they meant the kind of mowers you sit on, not the push-type flymo. Because racing those would just be silly.
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03.17.04We are all BdJFinally, I can confess. Yes, it's me. Honest.
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02.05.03Search Box Personality TestAbout as scientific as many of the online personality tests out there, and probably more revealing: the search box personality test. (Instructions: go to your search engine du jour, make the entry box active and then press the down button. Then simply screen-grab and publish. Hey presto: everything you've searched for recently, and therefore a revealing glimpse into your psyche.)Searches at www.yahoo.com as of 19.07.2001 Searches at www.yahoo.com as of 13.12.2000 NB: it has been pointed out to me that you can only use the above method of grabbing your previous search box information if you are using the infernal IE on windows. ...
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02.05.03On Hold"Sorry, all our operators are busy at present. You are currently held in a queue. Your call is important to us. Please continue to hold. Thank you....Sorry, all our operators are busy at present..." If you've ever been on hold to your local council/bank/energy supplier you'll know this feeling only too well.
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12.31.02All Polonial and bossyIf you can think of any imperative song titles, I'd appreciate it - Anna and I were trying to form a definitive list in the pub the other night...Don't Leave Me This WayWalk Like An EgyptianGet Out Of My Dreams (Get Into My Car)Give Me a ReasonDon't Turn AroundPlease Please MeTouch Me In The MorningLady (Hear Me Tonight)Stop Crying Your Heart OutShoutCome on Eileen (comma independent)Get HereHit Me With Your Rhythm StickTake On MeBeat ItDon't Dream It's OverJump AroundDon't Smoke In BedSail AwayDance The Night AwayCome BackCome Get MeWake Me Up (Before You Go Go)
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12.17.02Desperately Seeking: WarmthI've got to pack at some point, for going away to the frozen north this Saturday. I've made a list. So far, it says:Lots of warm stufffleece tops (3)glovesknickersBIG SOCKSI think I may need more than that.I had a great idea for a winter warming product the other day while walking up to Kensington High Street in an icy eastery wind - a DuvoTM. Part duvet, part poncho, the global patented DuvoTM could easily be mistaken for a kingsized duvet with a hole cut in the middle for the head. Not so. The DuvoTM also features a craftily concealed drawstring ...
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10.04.02Occupation preoccupationI was talking with a friend this morning who postulated that scientists are now acceptably romantic - sexy, even. There was Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind and even Coldplay recently wrote a sort of love song about a scientist. So this got us thinking. It's fine to write songs or movies about scientists, but web designers? Well, as he said, "See that kettle of fish over there? The one that's absolutely, totally, definitively not the same as any other?..."You get the point.The only time I think I've heard the web industry mentioned at all in lyrics is in U2's Kite ...
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