Category
Silly
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02.02.08HelpfulReading this story: [Microsoft] has filed a patent application for a system which links workers to their computers via wireless sensors which measure their metabolism. It would allow employees to remotely measure body temperature, heart rate, movement, facial expression and blood pressure. "This particular patent application, in general, describes an innovation aimed at improving activity monitoring systems and uses the monitoring of user heart rate as an example of the kind of physical state that could be monitored to detect when users need assistance with their activities" ....I found myself wondering whether it was time Mr Clippy had a revamp...
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07.22.07Overheard in a Soho coffee shop, soonA few months ago, I made a televisual gold programme name generator which TV commissioning Editors (especially those from BBC3/Channel five/Sky three/ITV3) could use to create titles for their summer season of programming. Now that the all-important autumn season is swift approaching, it's time to plunge once again into the bottom of the programming barrel and see which tired old formats can be recycled with a new twist for the gaping sofa-dwelling hoardes. After whole nanoseconds of analysis, I've discovered that the secret to this type of television planning is as follows:a) find an established programme conceptb) keep the basic format, but ...
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06.25.07Complete that lyricSo, for the last few weeks, I've had a fragment of a pastiche song lyric floating in my head as I sit idly on the tube, but haven't managed to get any further with it. In the spirit of harnessing our collective wisdom/crowd-sourcing, I thought maybe you might be able to help. The tune: Coldplay's In My Place (video link) The lyrics so far:On MySpace, On MySpace Were contacts I couldn't erase Just get lost Oh yeah Well, I said I hadn't got very far. Over to you.
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06.22.07Feeling Festive?So in 2001, I wrote a post about how you could recreate your very own Glastonbury festival experience in the comfort of your own home. Given that six and a half years have passed, and things have moved on a bit, and in honour of the festival's arrival this weekend, I thought it might be worth looking at updating it again. So, building on the previous post, and without further ado, here's DIY GLASTONBURY 2007 Continue Reading...
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05.23.07I see famous people. Everywhere.I can't help it. I'm not a big celeb-follower, and I tend to think that I wouldn't know most modern celebrities (soap stars, pop acts, etc) if I was squished up against them in a crowd of people calling their name. Famous people (as distinct from celebrities) are another matter again - some I recognise but can't name. Some I can even go as far as placing in a particular context (TV show? Sports? A film?), but if they're not in that context when I see them, I'm left hopelessly clamming. I'm constantly being teased in our household for referring ...
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05.03.07Televisual Gold, GuaranteedAttention TV commissioning Editors (especially those from BBC3/Channel five/Sky three/ITV3): the summer's on its way, and before you know it, it'll be sunny and warm and that means that commissioning new and interesting programming for the autumn season is just going to get in the way of long liquid lunches and hanging around with your sleeves rolled up in Soho Square. But fear not! I have the answer to your problem, in the form of this handy mix'n'match show title generator. Using literally minutes of brainpower, combined with a lifetime of passive couch-potato activity, I've distilled the essence of winning ...
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03.30.07What GTalk status messages are really forIt's not for letting people know you've popped out for lunch, or are in a meeting. No. It's for reliving David Bowie in frightwig and tights, as evidenced by this little interlude this morning. No conversation required - you don't need to talk and you can get on with other things quite happily. Just let your status do the talking. Because it's all about status. anna's new status message - you remind me of the babe Meg's new status message - what babe? anna's new status message - the babe with the power Meg's new status message - what power? anna's ...
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03.21.07In a manner of speakingDuring the course of the last few months, I've dealt with and got to know a lot of people from all over the world. Of these, a handful have outrrrrrageously strong accents. There's a woman from Spain who espiks ass eef see ees a nestra een a espagetti westerrrn, an' ees difficul forr joo can' theeenk off ahnytheeen else. There's a man from Germany who hass ze ixact eckzunt zat a perzon frum charmany vood haff in a bad moovi. There's a woman from New Zealand who puppuz huh cunvusayshun wuth thuh sungle vuwul thut charucturizuz thut puhtucyuluh way uf speekung. There's another woman, ...
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01.10.07A spammer by any other name. . . is still a git. However, I've been tickled recently by some of the randomly generated names which have been apparently sending me unbeatable offers via email recently: Irinushka Cooper Microorganism P. Alarmin Cosmo McDrew Ernesto Memeolite Rubdown V. Theorist Palliates Altiplano Ceremonials O. Foreknowledge Pedro O'Shaugnessy Deana Fontenonte Antigone Triathlon Vinnie Debussy Crystal Slightly Gwendolyn K. Dwarf
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01.06.07Phone HellYears ago, I had a webcam on this site, which was trained on me during various hours of the day - ah, such heady days of being young(ish), innocent(ish) and not minding sharing your bad hair days with the world. Anyway, I recently re-discovered a little animation I made with a series of cam images taken while I was on the phone on hold to a call centre somewhere. Thought I'd post it here again. The crappy resolution was the result (I assume) of trying to compress the file so that it downloaded quickly on 56.6kbps. Of course, these days it'd have ...
recent posts
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