Category
Rants
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02.15.03St Patrick’s EveI'm clearly missing something. In the pub one night in early March, 2002, there were flyers all over the place encouraging drinkers to go out (well, stay in) and have a pint or several of Guinness on Saturday 16 March. A few days later, on the walk to work, I spotted a poster promoting the same thing - "Drink like the Irish on St Patrick's Eve"Have I missed out on some significant date-change? I realise that St Patrick's Day was on a Sunday in 2002, and therefore didn't lend itself quite so readily to binge-drinking sessions, but what I'm trying ...
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02.01.03Recent uncharitable thoughtsTo the man who had his personal stereo up unfeasibly loud on the District line between Embankment and Earl's Court: I like The Streets. I approve of your musical choice. But must you share the auditory joy with everyone in the carriage? I was going to say 'I hope you go deaf at an early age' but since you only have one earpiece plugged in (the other, dangling around your neck and broadcasting tinnily to the nation), let me modify that uncharitable sentiment to 'I hope you go deaf at an early age in one ear'.To the couple in the ...
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01.23.03War / (HUH) / What is it good for?It reminds me of the man who stands, intoxicated at the bar saying "come on, punch me in the stomach - no, go on, do it, do it, punch me in the stomach.." and then when someone makes a fist changes his tune to "don't touch me you TWAT, how DARE you touch me..."Of course there's going to be a terrorist attack on London if you keep appearing in the media and saying "nah-nah nah nah-ner, you can't get us" or worse, "we need to be ready for the inevitable terrorist attack on London, which would be really very bad, ...
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01.01.03On SolipsismIt's the people who step out of doorways without checking first whether they might walk into passers-by. It's the people who try to get on the train before others have a chance to get off. It's the people who stand and chat in the middle of the pavement, or dawdle in shop doorways, who seem unaware of the possibility that they might be causing an obstruction. It's the people who smoke while you're eating, or conduct loud mobile phone conversations beside you on the bus, because their convenience and compulsion overrules your comfort. It's the people who stop walking immediately after passing ...
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01.01.03What Lies BeneathWhat interests me about this story is the implicit division between original art and historical modification of art:"Italian restorers working in a Roman church have unveiled two bare-breasted sculptures which have been covered for almost 150 years...They were designed by Gian Lorenzo Bernini but covered by bronze 'corsets' in 1863 because religious leaders thought they were offensive. They were completed in 1662-63 by a Bernini disciple, and exactly two centuries later they were covered..."I'm fascinated by the idea that by removing a subsequent but equally historical and aesthetic addition to the work - not twenty years old, but a hundred ...
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01.01.03On “Safety”There's this series of carriage ads on the tube at the moment for BAE, which really bother me.The one I first saw depicts a hummingbird, and explains how BAE developed the quite astounding technology which enables Harrier jump jets to land and take-off from a vertical position - no mean feat on an aircraft carrier in the middle of a tempestuous ocean. Which makes the world a safer place.Woah. Back up a second. What?Creating a massive weighty object that not only flies, but hovers and takes off vertically is an amazing innovation, a marvel of modern engineering and something to ...
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01.01.03On Voting, and Political PartiesIt was really hot that week. I remember the weather with the kind of clarity that comes with being a final year student living in a flat overlooking a park, watching people play frisbee, drink lager and loll about in the sunshine while I studied for my finals and wished plagues of pollen and midges upon them. Bastards. It was the second election I'd voted in, but the first I'd paid much attention to. In 1992, I'd been living in the Tory-for-ever-and-ever constituency of Kensington and Chelsea. I sent in my vote in a tatty envelope from Mexico - taking part ...
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01.01.03Person, Not ProductConclusion #1:This site is about me. Don't forget the crucial "about". It's a little word, but it makes a big difference. I am not my website.Conclusion #2:I love the internet. I love the medium and the possibilities and the potential and the people.Conclusion #3:Writing will always be my first love.Conclusion #4:I need to reconcile the things I love in order to be happy.Conclusion #5:If you are trying to read between the lines, don't bother. There's nothing there but white space. I'm back.As you may have been aware, I've been thinking. I needed to take a step back, reconcile the public and ...
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01.01.03You Don’t SayApparently, the double glazed window in our bedroom has dropped slightly in the casement. This makes it nigh-on impossible to shut the window (which is not a problem at the moment because it's relatively warm out, still, but I'd like to have the option of shutting the window at some point in the future).How do I know this? Simple: the landlord's lackey just told me.After a couple of days of fighting with it, I called the landlord's lackey today and said "the double glazed window in our bedroom won't shut. I think the frame has dropped slightly in the casement.""No ...
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01.01.03The Art of Standing StillGoing down to Covent Garden today, and I'm fully expecting to run into more than a few of these ridiculous street performers. So let me get this straight. You just sort of stand still, do you? And that's it? That's the sum total of your artistic pursuit, is it? Standing still for a while? Maybe posing a bit? Maybe covering yourself in white paint? Well blow me down if I don't give you an Academy award on the spot for your breathtaking talent and originality.Everywhere you go in Europe these days, from Liverpool to Lausanne, there are two things you're ...
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