Category
Deli-from-Helli
Anything relating to the (now infamous) Armenian deli near my office which I’ve frequented over the years. Crazy place.
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04.25.01Classic Armenian Deli-ism at lunchtimeAsked for: hummus and roasted vegetable on a brown baguette, no butter. Got: White buttered baguette. That's it. So I had to go back and complain, especially because the latte I asked for was actually dishwater or camel spit or something, as well. So I wait in the queue again, and who do I get to serve me? Bad Cop. Of course.So after I explained the problem, this is what happened....Bad Cop: So what you want lady? Me: .... [Bad Cop turns away and shouts at the DishPig in Armenian for two minutes] Bad Cop: What you want lady? Me: Roasted vegetable and.... Bad Cop: No roasted ...
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04.24.01Armenian Deli surrealism updateAs you may remember, as well as bizarre morning marmite rituals, the Armenian deli around the corner does delicious food, but getting hold of it sometimes requires a surreal transaction with good cop/bad cop staff, and you may not necessarily get what you asked for. Here are a few classic examples from recent personal experience: What you want, lady? What you get, lady? Baked potato with cheese and beansSmall salad (no nuts) Medium cappuccino and an apple danishExpresso and a croissant Chicken tikka on a granary bap with saladItalian chicken with coleslaw on white baguette Cheese salad on brown, no tomatoesMozarella and Tomato on ...
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04.05.01Deli from helliThe day starts well when it starts with an invigorating blast of Jesus and Mary Chain - their debut single, Upside Down is still a classic, seventeen years after its release.Woah. Woooooooah. Now I feel really old. That was one of the first singles I ever bought. Gulp.Anyway, mornings also start well when they start with Marmite on toast and latte from the local caff. Well, at least they start surreally. The people who work there have a sort of Good Cop - Bad Cop thing going on. You go in and depending on who you get serving you, you ...
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01.09.01OverheardWoman in fur coat outside Armenian sandwich shop: (alone and loudly, to her small dog, on a lead) "...of course when she's on her way to lunch, she runs twice as fast as him."
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09.04.00Deli from Helli updateI think my brain has finally reached total capacity. I went to the sandwich shop across the road, and when the counter assistant asked what I wanted, I blurted out my network password. Then I went to the vending machine back in the office to get a can of diet coke, and put in my money followed by my ATM pin number. And I just answered the phone saying "phone." My head hurts.
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