Instructions for making some yummy things.
Archive: Recipes
Feb 6, 2003 Comments Off
Meg’s Toucan Lasagne
(no, it doesn’t contain toucan. I think that would be illegal in this country. It’s called that because the basic ingredients are two cans of things, and it’s pretty colourful.)
This is a recipe I came up with while working as a cook at a Youth Hostel in Scotland during the summer of 1993, refined during further summer seasons there in 94 and 96, and all the intervening years as a poor student. It’s filling and tasty and quick, and astonishingly easy to make.
Ingredients:
2 onions
2 courgettes
2 carrots
1 small punnet of baby corn (thai style)
3 peppers (pimientos)
1 can kidney beans (drained)
1 can chopped tomatoes
Lasagne sheets
Grated cheese
Flour, butter, milk, mustard, cayenne pepper, oregano, basil, 1 tsp pesto, parsely, salt, pepper, olive oil.
Method:
Saute onions in olive oil for a few minutes. Add courgettes, peppers and corn, as you chop them and dump them in. Add herbs and spices. Wait a few minutes. Stir. Add kidney beans and tomatoes. Add chopped carrots. Stir. Simmer on low heat for 10 mins.
Meanwhile, make the sauce. Make a roux with butter and flour (melt butter gently, then add flour a little at a time, stirring constantly, to make a thick paste, and then eventually a soft ball of dough in the pan.) Add salt. Keep it moving for a few minutes to cook the flour. Add a handful of grated cheese. Add a spoonfull of grainy mustard. Add cayenne pepper. Stir until it all globs together in a a ball. Add milk SLOWLY, a tiny bit at a time, stirring into the flour mixture between additions. Add milk really slowly and gradually until the dough becomes loose. Then add more at a time, but not too much, between each addition, stir thoroughly over a low heat, ensuring the smooth consistency of the sauce.. When it’s slightly too runny, turn off the heat and keep stirring – the sauce will thicken as the flour cooks through.
OR… cheat and use packet cheese sauce.
Get a big shallow dish, and layer the vegetables/lasagne/sauce twice. Top with sauce and grated cheese/parmesan and sprinkling of cayenne pepper.
Whack in a medium hot oven for 25-35 minutes, until pasta has gone soft (check with a knife) and the cheese on top is bubbling and browned.
Serve with huge hunks of crusty bread and butter, and love.
Feb 6, 2003 Comments Off
Simple Scones
Ingredients
- 8oz self-raising flour
- 2oz butter
- pinch of salt
- 2-4 tbsp milk (fine if slightly sour)
- sultanas OR cheese and mustard and a pinch of cayenne pepper OR apple chunks and a healthy dash of cinnamon
Method:
– Rub butter and flour and salt together between fingertips until the mixture resembles fine crumbs (chuck in sultanas or cheese/mustard or custard (eek!) if desired at this point).
– Add milk a splosh at a time and fold in using your hands until the mixture holds together and becomes like dough – better to be slightly on the sticky side than too dry.
– Knead lightly on a floured board, and then roll out to 1″-1.5″ thick (use rolling pin or if you don’t have one, use a wine bottle or can of soup or beans covered in clingfilm or plastic bag).
– Cut into squares a couple of inches square (frilly-edges are for girls), stick on a baking tray and whack in the oven for 10-15 minutes, at a medium-high heat, until lightly browned on top and risen slightly.
– Eat hot from the oven, slathered in butter and/or jam and/or vegemite and/or honey and/or love. Best eaten with love.
Feb 6, 2003 Comments Off
Watermelon Cocktail
Get a medium-sized watermelon.
Scoop inside out of watermelon.
Mush up contents in blender (seperate seeds if you can be arsed, but they won’t kill anyone).
Add 1/3 bottle vodka (350ml?) and 1/3 bottle lime cordial.
Add 6 heaped spoonfuls of sugar, the juice of a squeezed lemon or two and lots of crushed ice.
Pour back into hollow watermelon and serve.
Fruity!
Feb 6, 2003 Comments Off
Family Pancake Recipe
Sticky, traditional and yum!
Ingredients
1 cup plain flour
1 egg (beaten)
1 cup milk
1 pinch of salt
NB: This is scalable – each batch makes approx 10 crepes.
Method:
Mix all ingredients in a bowl till smooth.
leave to stand for an hour in mixing bowl, covered with a teatowel.
Then make thin crepes in a hot frying pan with a tiny bit of oil (don’t forget to toss them!)
Serve hot with fresh lemon juice/orange juice and sugar.
Feb 6, 2003 Comments Off
Meg’s Feeling Fruity
Ingredients
1 Jamaica Ginger loaf cake (bought)
2 large mangoes (ours were called Alan Titchmarsh or Tim Tompkins or something. Most odd.)
1 punnet of half-fat cream.
How to do it
Chop mango into smallish pieces. Save juice.
Chop or crumble up cake into bowls.
Microwave cake for 25 seconds until sticky.
Cover with chopped mango & juice.
Spoon on cream.
Consume in an orgiastic frenzy of face-licking glee.
Feb 5, 2003 Comments Off
Dinner: Stodge
Date: 30.03.01
Guest: David (Meg’s brother)
Menu: Fresh Tagliatelle alla carbonara, soave
Chef: Meg
Conversation: Unlikely encounters with camels, Daisy Duke, camel toes, men, funerals, food, house-hunting
Tagliatelle alla Carbonara
Cut bacon into strips and fry with pesto and pepper. Add cream. Boil pasta. Crack eggs into pasta on low heat, then add bacon/cream and cheese. Mix feverishly until combined. Serve with parmesan and croutons and pepper.
Stodgy and super-filling, but much appreciated, especially when your guest hasn’t eaten since 7 in the morning because he was at a wake all day and wasn’t clear on the etiquette for asking for a round of toast.
Feb 5, 2003 Comments Off
Dinner: Cultural Confusion
Date: 08.04.01
Guest: Sarah J
Menu: West African Chicken Curry, Charoseth, Chardonnay, Martini, Amé, Bread, Rice, Cream
Chef: Meg
Conversation: Drowning dingoes, curtains, white sauce, lurve, wattle trees, deejays, work
Proof: Here
West African Chicken Curry
Fry onions in olive oil with spices (until it smells good). Cube chicken and sear in onion mixture. Add tomatoes. Add chopped corn. Add 1 tbsp peanut butter.
Put lid on and simmer for 20 mins.
Just before serving, add the rest of the peanut butter, cashew nuts and chili sauce.
Serve with rice and crusty bread and butter. Good with crisp chardonnay.
Charoseth [Meg's version]
Roughly chop walnuts, dates and apple. Shove in bowl. Add spices. Stick together with honey until the consistency of mortar. Add spices. Add sugar to taste. Chill.
Serve with matzoh (traditional) or cream (er, not traditional).
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Feb 5, 2003 1
Dinner: Last Supper
Date: 12.04.01
Guests: Mo, Katie, Catherine, Iain C, David C
Menu: Olives, bread, tossed salad, garlic and lemon greek chicken (Chicken à la Mègue), spinach and feta pie, Frozen Genius (homemade Italian icecream), fresh berries
Chefs: Meg and Dave
Conversation: PE teachers, spooge, “all electronic music is gay”, <jeff stryker>”yeah, shoot that load”</jeff stryker> vs *ba-doooooooow*, in-depth discussions on the incestuocity of the bloggers, relationships, pulling, “and then I got my cock out”, Swindon, photography, beans, Connie, morons, Spanish sex vocabulary, Meg’s spangly trousers, “For evah-evah? For-evah-evah-evah?”, detox, age … and a cracking game of Articulate that went on for hours (and which Meg and Luke won, of course, though everyone complained that it was unfair, but Luke pouted until he was allowed to play with Meg, so they let him)
Proof: here
Chicken à la Mègue
Mix up all ingredients in a shallow dish. Rub the chicken fillets with rock salt and paprika. Marinade in mixture for an hour. Bake in oven on medium heat for 30-40 minutes, turning frequently and re-basting until cooked. About 2/3 of the way through, whack up the heat, pour on some olive oil and sprinkle with paprika. Serve with crusty bread, good for dunking in lemony-garlic sauce.
Spinach and Feta Pie
Lightly cook the spinach, mix in with eggs, crumbled feta, chopped onions and seasoning. Cover with puff pastry and bake in medium-hot oven for about half an hour, until the pie is firm. Serve hot in big chunks.
Frozen Genius
Ice cream:
Praline:
Make the praline first (as it’s fiddly, potentially life threatening and needs to be ready before you start on the icecream). Put the hazelnuts in a metal dish in a 220degC oven for a few minutes – keep watching them or else they’ll burn baby burn, like a disco inferno. Remove from oven and peel the skins off (they’ll be hot and you’ll probably burn your fingers but hey, it’s worth it – alternatively, put into a plastic bag and rustle around to shake them off). Return the peeled nuts to the oven to colour them to a golden brown.
Put the sugar and water together in a saucepan and boil on a medium heat until a pale gold colour (shake the syrup around in the pan a bit as it cooks). When you have a uniformly light caramel colour, add the whole roasted hazelnuts and simmer over a low heat until the caramel darkens slightly. Turn the mixture out onto a lightly greased tray and leave to cool (or speed it up by putting the tray into the fridge). When ready, roughly pulse half the praline in food processor (into small chunks) then do the other half to a powder – if you don’t have a blender, place the mixture between two sheets of cling film within two teatowels and bash seven shades out of it with a rolling pin.
Separate the eggs, placing the yolks and the sugar in a large bowl. Whisk until pale yellow. In another bowl, whisk the egg whites and the pinch of salt into stiff peaks. In a third bowl, whip the cream into soft peaks. Fold the egg whites, whipped cream and praline into the yolk/sugar mixture. Transfer into a container and freeze. Allow to thaw until semi-soft before serving, and serve with fresh berries (blueberries and strawberries work well – you could also marinate them in Cointreau (an afterthought we came up with today – you’d have thought we’d had enough alcohol, but noooo …)) [from Jamie Oliver's recipe for semifreddo].
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Feb 5, 2003 Comments Off
Dinner: Surreal Meal
Date: 13.08.01
Guests: Paul, Catherine, Tom, Ralph, Mo
Menu: Dishwasher Poached Salmon, Lime and Dill Mayonnaise, Parsnip Crisps, asparagus, rocket/spinach salad, fresh berries with cream, ice cream.
Chef: Dave
Conversation: Sleep-talking (sitcoms, “For breakfast I’ll have a handfull of cum and some bacon”), patterned wallpaper that tears your skin to shreds, “Articulate!” game descriptions such as “Na-na-na na-naaaah … Sledge Hammer” (for “Peter Gabriel”), “You’re a Linux man …” (for “connecting”), “It’s somewhere in England …” – “Edinburgh!”, and the best of the night, Mo: “I’m a purveyor of?” … Paul: “Bullshit?”
Proof: > and it was, rather”>here
Dishwasher Poached Salmon
With the olive oil, grease the shiny side of 30cmx30cm squares of strong aluminium foil (two fillets per square). Place the fillets in the middle of the foil, side by side, then splash over a tablespoon or two of lime juice and sprinkle liberally with salt and pepper. Gather up the top and bottom edges of the foil so they meet in the middle, then fold down the edges (like you would the top of a paper bag. Then fold in the other edges similarly, so a nice compact parcel is formed. Repeat for the other fillets (if you’re cooking a lot). Hold the packets upside down and give them a bit of a squeeze to make sure they don’t leak. If they do, rewrap them. Place the fillets in the top drawer of the dishwasher and run the machine through a normal cycle. They’ll be all done in 50 minutes or less! [recipe from The Surreal Gourmet]
Lime and Dill Mayonnaise
Whisk together the egg yolks, lime juice, and a dash of salt and pepper together in a large bowl for a minute or so. Add the oil in small amounts (teaspoon to tablespoon at a time), beating vigourously until the oil is half gone, then pour the remaining oil into the emulsion in a steady stream (find a friend!), whisking constantly. Add the chopped dill and give the whole thing another minute or so’s whisking, then chill before serving with the salmon.
Parsnip Crisps
Wash and peel parsnips, then peel them into thin slivers, down to the core. Deep fry the slivers until crispy.
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Aug 28, 2001 Comments Off
Yum
So on Sunday night we were on the way home from Lucky Break (better-than-average BritFlick starring James Nesbitt in a George Clooney-esque wig) and we passed a late-night deli, so we thought we’d stop in and buy yummy things for breakfast the next day.
We picked up some croissants and a thick wedge of baked cheesecake, and pointed at some fruit scones, and then wandered home to curl up and nod off.
In the morning, we ravenously unpacked the deli goodies stashed in the fridge hurriedly the night before.
Two croissants: check.
One wedge of artery-hardening cheesecake: check.
Two fruit scones: nowhere to be seen. Hmm.
So on went the pinny, up rolled the sleeves and out came the ingredients. I made scones, for the first time in ages, and we ate them hot and soggy with melting butter fresh from the oven.
When I worked up in Scotland (where my sister works now) I used to have to make dozens of scones every day – plain, fruit and cheese varieties – for lunch and snacks for the guests. It got to the point that I could make them blindfold, in about four minutes with no recipe, because I did it every single day.
One morning I went down to the kitchen early, a bit sleepy after a night at the ceilidh, and started baking bread and scones as usual. To my horror, I discovered a large margarine tub of semi-liquified yellow gunk sitting next to the stove, melting slowly in the bright sunshine pouring through the window.
“Oh bollocks!” I thought, “someone’s been for a midnight snack here and has forgotten to put away the margarine and now it’s gone all runny. The fools!”
Before anyone else got in, I quickly rubbed the yellow goop into some flour, added some cheese and mustard and cayenne pepper, rolled the dough out and whacked the formed scones into the oven to bake for twelve minutes. Phew. No-one needs to know.
Just as I was preparing to make another batch of fruit scones, one of my co-workers wandered into the kitchen blearily looking for coffee. He spied the empty margarine tub next to the stove and ran his finger around the inside, licking the remnants greedily from his hands.
“Eeeeeeeeuuuw!” I exclaimed, “that’s disgusting!”
He looked puzzled. “What do you mean?” he asked, “it’s only last-night’s custard”
Ah. Custard. Not margarine, then.
Two things suddenly became crystal clear to me:
- The night before, dessert had been apple crumble and custard, and some well-meaning soul had put the leftover custard into an empty margarine tub without labelling it, leaving it on the counter-top to cool down before putting it in the fridge, as good health and safety practices dictate.
- I’d just made cheese and custard scones.
At lunch that day, I played a game with the guests – “guess the mystery ingredient”. None of them guessed correctly, although a few commented on their strangely appealing sweet-spicy flavour and slightly sticky texture.
Let this be a lesson to you: always label your leftovers. And most importantly, if you fuck up, never let on.
Meg’s Basic Scone Recipe
- 8oz self-raising flour
- 2oz butter
- pinch of salt
- 2-4 tbsp milk (fine if slightly sour)
- sultanas/cheese and mustard
– Rub butter and flour and salt together between fingertips until the mixture resembles fine crumbs (chuck in sultanas or cheese/mustard or custard (eek!) if desired at this point).
– Add milk a splosh at a time and fold in using your hands until the mixture holds together and becomes like dough – better to be slightly on the sticky side than too dry.
– Knead lightly on a floured board, and then roll out to 1″-1.5″ thick (use rolling pin or if you don’t have one, use a wine bottle or can of soup or beans covered in clingfilm or plastic bag).
– Cut into squares a couple of inches square (frilly-edges are for girls), stick on a baking tray and whack in the oven for 10-15 minutes, at a medium-high heat, until lightly browned on top and risen slightly.
– Eat hot from the oven, slathered in butter and/or jam and/or vegemite and/or honey and accompanied by a cup of tea.
Discussion