Category
Food & Drink
Edibles and drinkables, recipes, recommendations and other culinary miscellanea.
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02.05.03Dinner: Surreal MealDate: 13.08.01 Guests: Paul, Catherine, Tom, Ralph, Mo Menu: Dishwasher Poached Salmon, Lime and Dill Mayonnaise, Parsnip Crisps, asparagus, rocket/spinach salad, fresh berries with cream, ice cream. Chef: Dave Conversation: Sleep-talking (sitcoms, "For breakfast I'll have a handfull of cum and some bacon"), patterned wallpaper that tears your skin to shreds, "Articulate!" game descriptions such as "Na-na-na na-naaaah ... Sledge Hammer" (for "Peter Gabriel"), "You're a Linux man ..." (for "connecting"), "It's somewhere in England ..." - "Edinburgh!", and the best of the night, Mo: "I'm a purveyor of?" ... Paul: "Bullshit?" Proof: > and it was, rather">here Dishwasher Poached Salmon Salmon fillets Lime juice Olive oil Salt Cracked black pepper With ...
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01.30.03A Light DustingWhat's the official term for the fine powder shed by muesli, and remaining at the end of the sack? Is it the same term as used for the powder that's left at the bottom of a bag of dry roasted peanuts? Chaff? Chuff?
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12.08.02What You Want, Lady?Mornings start well when they start with Marmite on toast and latte from the local Armenian deli. Well, at least they start surreally. The people who work there have a sort of Good Cop - Bad Cop thing going on. You go in and depending on who you get serving you, you might be in and out in the time it takes the bread to brown, or it could be a lot longer than that. If you get the Good Cop, you place your order, she prepares it, and then you leave. Simple. Uncomplicated. Straightforward. If you get the Bad ...
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12.08.02On SconesSo on Sunday night we were on the way home from the movies and we passed a late-night deli, so we thought we'd stop in and buy yummy things for breakfast the next day.We picked up some croissants and a thick wedge of baked cheesecake, and pointed at some fruit scones, and then wandered home to curl up and nod off.In the morning, we ravenously unpacked the deli goodies stashed in the fridge hurriedly the night before. Two croissants: check. One wedge of artery-hardening cheesecake: check. Two fruit scones: nowhere to be seen. Hmm.So on went the pinny, up rolled ...
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10.29.02All is ForgivenI've had issues with the Armenian deli-from-helli recently. I mean, I've always had issues with them - the random order fulfillment, the rudeness, the wildly varying pricing policy, the chaos and stress of just trying to get a coffee and some toast in the morning - but recently, they've surpassed themselves.For a month or so, now, I've been avoiding Bad Cop. Remember her? The "what you want, lady?" lady? Bad Cop is the snappish matriarch who bosses the other family members around, and seems to want to be in charge of the cash register, the coffee machine and the sandwich ...
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10.09.02John Major’s CatI was leaving a restaurant this lunchtime, when a grey cat slipped in the door.The owner scooted over from doing his genial rounds of the table and scooped up the hapless moggy, depositing him safely but unceremoniously on the street outside."'E's always doing that," he chuckled in our direction, "'e tries to slip in for a bottle of wine."We grinned vaguely but noncommittally, and moved away."You know," mumbled the owner, thoughtfully, "I believe 'e used to belong to John Major..."If that was a joke, I didn't get it. If it was true, I don't know what to think.On a totally ...
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10.08.02Feeling FruityWhen I first half woke up yesterday morning, I am reported to have enquired sleepily why there were so many oranges everywhere. There was no answer to this, and it remains a total mystery, especially because my dreaming involved power-lunching in Woolworths with the CEO of my company, and hiding in the toilet in order to prevent myself from butting in while a colleague was explaining something (badly).But not an orange in sight - not in Woolworths, not in the dream, and not in bed.This reminds me of a story a friend once told me about a model ex-girlfriend (profession, ...
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09.28.02The scent of hibiscusLong, lovely, delicious evening out for Sudanese food with P last night, at Mandola in Notting Hill, which is creeping back into my top ten favourite eating establishments ever.Salata daqua, (onion, cabbage, garlic, chili, peanut) hot and creamy and just pungent enough to be devilishly moreish, roasted aubergine with mish and tomatim bel gibna, plus tawa chicken (for me) and lamb (for him), succulent and slow-burning with spice. And it would be impossible to forget the chili, lime and peanut sauce, that was the approximate culinary equivalent of molten lead. But delicious all the same. After a week like that, ...
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09.27.02Conspirators of PleasureI got a very dry roll with my soup today, and caught myself removing the inner soft bread, beyond the tough crust, and rolling it up to plop into the soup. This reminded me of this Jan Svankmajer film (now available on video), which we screened at the 051 arts cinema in Liverpool when I worked there in 1997. I remember watching it, mouth agape throughout. Very odd. Very good.If you ever get a chance to see it, do. It's thoroughly brilliant, in a deviant, Czech, kinky, surreal kind of way. Read the synopsis if you want to discover quite ...
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09.25.02Let them write about cakeI once attended an interview in which my fellow interviewer asked the hapless candidate a surprising question. After quizzing her about personal work qualities, experience of working within tight deadlines and what she thought she could bring to such a challenging role, he asked her whether a Jaffa Cake was, in fact, a cake or a biscuit.She launched into a response ("It's a biscuit, obviously"), and then pondered out loud at the name ("...of course it's called a cake...") which caused her to stumble and lapse into silence, unable to answer conclusively.The correct answer, of course (and you might want ...
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