Category
Deli-from-Helli
Anything relating to the (now infamous) Armenian deli near my office which I’ve frequented over the years. Crazy place.
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03.26.02CluckReferring to a chicken breast granary bap, and in response to the question "You want salad, lady?" what does the phrase "just lettuce, thanks" mean to you? a) Just lettuce, no other salad b) No lettuce, but loads of other salad c) Loads of salad, including lettuce d) No salad at all e) No lettuce, no cucumber, but about eighty tomato slices f) No lettuce, no salad, but some Branston Pickle Answers on a warm ciabatta...
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01.28.02Spotted, roadsideCurious things seen on the brief trip to the Deli-from-helli to get lunch: (#84 in an ongoing series)Opposite the deli, there's a BT service van, with a card stuck on the window which reads "visiting 142a Grazelle Road," but in the front seat is a man in a uniform with his feet up on the dashboard.And he's playing a bass guitar. He's really giving it some, as well: Big ba-dooooow-ing in a Mark King style. The windows are shut so I can't hear if he's playing along to something or whether this is a solo, but when I leave the ...
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11.19.01The NoteNightmarishly busy day.There was a woman on the bus from High Street Ken today, with big frizzy hair, noomeeja specs and a postbox red woollen coat. She sat down next to me, carrying too many bags covered in too many designer labels, and rummaged around in the smallest one, the brown one, for her bus pass. She flashed it at the conductor briefly, and then stopped as she noticed a slip of paper sticking out of the back - she unfolded it, and I peered nosily to the right to catch a glimpse.It said, in an unmistakeably italian hand (ever ...
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08.22.01BlearghCan I just point out for the record (and for any Armenian deli-owners in the audience) that yesterday's yummy pasta-and-herb salad with olive oil left out to dry overnight and then glooped unevenly this morning with mayonnaise does not make for a brand new pasta salad?It makes for yellowed mayonnaise with crunchy bits in it. Hrrmph.
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08.22.01WoahTo my utter bemusement, when I walked into the Armenian deli this morning at the usual time, Bad Cop behind the counter thrust into my hands a bag containing brown toast with marmite and a chocolate croissant and a paper cup containing a medium latte. And charged me the right money for it, too.That's the order she's been getting wrong every morning for the last two years. The order I've been asking for every morning for two years.I wonder if she suffered some kind of head trauma last night?
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08.10.01HmmmTwo things which are not necessarily related:Next door to the Armenian deli I frequent for lunch, there is a beauty salon which has just started offering Brazilian Bikini Waxes. I know this, because they have advertised this fact by putting a large poster in the window. Today, there was a hair in my taboulleh.
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06.28.01MemoTo: Armenian deli-from-helli across the road from the officeFrom: Meg Pickard, loyal customer (mornings: latte/marmite on toast, lunchtimes: mineral water/salad/baguette) AKA "Lady"Subject: GREEK SALAD- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Hi (lady),I just got some of your 'greek salad' to go with my cheese baguette this lunchtime. It looked so yummy in the chiller cabinet, I just had to have some. Now, I realise you're Armenian, not Greek. I'm not ...
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06.08.01If I were a slug, I’d be toastI'm suffering from Marmite overload. My mouth is rebelling. I didn't think it was possible, but I have quite simply had too much marmite on toast over the last few days, and my poor gums are screaming for mercy.Bad-cop in the deli-from-helli has launched a personal and vociferous attack on my tastebuds this week. Every slice of toast she makes me is slathered with thick black goo - but I don't complain, because I'm just amazed and pleased to be getting marmite and bread in any combination whatsoever, given that she usually offers me chicken salad on a toasted bagel ...
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05.15.01Sketches from a morningWoke up periodically throughout the night, convinced that something was missing, and that I was going to sleep through my alarm clock. As a consquence, I was so tired I nearly did just that. Went through five clean white T-shirts, because I managed to stain the left sleeve of every single one in succession by reaching across my desk for earrings. The sleeves were stained bright orange yellow with asiatic lily pollen (gorgeous flowers, though). Mental note: that stuff does not come out (*thumps head on keyboard repeatedly*) Eventually opted for black t-shirt instead. Reached for earrings across desk. Did precisely ...
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04.27.01More Deli ActionWaiting for marmite on toast in the deli-from-helli this morning, I was standing next to an old man, who asked for a toasted bagel and a strong cappuccino. He was about 5'3", wrinkly and pink, in a typically English kind of way, wearing a cravat and a heavy coat, though it was a delicious spring morning for the first time in weeks. He greeted the serving staff (this morning: DishPig and BadCop) amiably and with familiarity. His accent was pure Kensington. They chatted for a while. Then BadCop asked him if he wanted chocolate sprinkles and he said "Si, por ...
