Category
Television
The drug of the nation?
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03.11.04MTAActress/Model Amanda Lamb is the face of Scottish Widows, as well as the presenter of A Place In The Sun. This explains that nagging feeling that I'd seen her somewhere before. And that she should be wearing a giant black cape with that sundress.
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10.06.03NervesHere are two men. Two entertainers, whatever they choose to call themselves. To men involved with the world of televisual entertainment, but until now, I hadn't linked them. The first is Donal MacIntyre. On TV eighteen months or so ago, there was a documentary in which MacIntyre wandered the streets of Brixton for three nights, waving expensive electronic equipment around, trying to get mugged while wearing a hidden camera. On the third night, he managed it, as recounted in this concise and accurate rundown of events. The second is Derren Brown. On TV tonight, Brown played Russian Roulette at an undisclosed location ...
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09.18.03Coming up next, celebrity five-a-side javelinYou know, I kind of feel sorry for celebrities these days. Twenty, ten, even five years ago, a person could just be a pop star, or actor, or newsreader, and be bloody good at it (or sort of passable, in the case of eighties pop; I'm talking about you Mr Le Bon) and that was that. Back then, it was actually quite weird for a singer to try to break into film (Tina Turner in Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome? Grace Jones in View To A Kill or Vamp?) unless the film was actually made by or about a singer/band, or had "vehicle" ...
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12.08.02Monarch of the GrimOh dearie me. Not so long ago, I was saying that Monarch of the Glen is a guilty pleasure for a Sunday night. Well, I was wrong.It was a cheesy pleasure, and now it's unbearably poor. The main problem is that it seems to have turned into a scottish version of an inner city hospital drama - McCasualty - a show in which various things happen, the script is ludicrously full of holes, and the whole plot is tied up genially within an hour-long episode. It's so neat. It's so planned. The show used to be all long-ranging plotlines, developing ...
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12.08.02On ImpressionistsImpressionists (not the Monet kind). I just don't get them. Rory Bremner, Alastair MacGowan, all of that lot - actually, come to think of it, I can only remember those two, plus that woman (Janet something? Fay something?) and that rubber-faced bloke from the eighties, Phil Cool. Are there any more?Anyway. Impressionists. Bah. They bug me because I don't really see the point. Watching someone pretending to be someone else, to me is sort of like watching a monkey with a hat on, and going "ooh, it's almost like watching a real person...except obviously a real person wouldn't drink from ...
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10.16.02AcronymbleI'm sure someone, somewhere would be able to read something significant and/or concerning into a persisting subconscious substitution of the terms NDA and DNR."We've gotta get them to sign a DNR before we meet..." is a little drastic, even in today's cuthroat internet biz, while wondering if a patient has an NDA demonstrates that the doctors may have something to hide.Conclusion: either I spend too much time online, or I watch too much ER.
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09.16.02MysteryPhone rings. I answer."Hello?.... Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? Hello?"The sound of silence. But no, not quite silence. Quietly punctuated by faint laughter, the distant, distinct sound of Chef from South Park singing Chocolate Salty Balls.Someone must have sat on their phone, and dialled our number. This has happened before, and it's frustrating and mystifying because obviously you can't make a call (e.g. to 1471) until they hang up - and since the phone is probably wedged between the sofa cushions, there's not much chance of that.Ten minutes later, through careful, studied listening to the occasional muffled guffaw, P manages ...
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09.08.02Oh dear…Oh dearie me. Remember that stuff last week I was saying about Monarch of the Glen, and how it is a guilty pleasure for a Sunday night? Well, I was wrong.It was a cheesy pleasure, and now it's unbearably poor. The main problem is that it seems to have turned into a scottish version of an inner city hospital drama - McCasualty - a show in which various things happen, the script is ludicrously full of holes, and the whole plot is tied up genially within an hour-long episode. It's so neat. It's so planned. The show used to be ...
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09.01.02Jings, Cribbens and Help Ma BoabLook, I might as well come out with it: I'm an old fogey at heart.There's evidence to support this, too: where I used to go out carousing until the wee small hours during the week, I'm now more likely to be moderate and in bed by midnight - even on the weekends. Where I used to listen to shouty music and stomp around the flat, these days I'm more partial to something chilled which helps me wind down. And where I used to spend just about every weekend redesigning my site and being the wild young twentysomething noomeejahoor that I've ...
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08.24.02GerrawayP: What are you watching? Me: The Lost World P: Ah right. Not the Jurassic Park one? Was Bob Hoskins in that? Me: No, this is the other one - made for TV. It's by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle P: Oh right Me: He wrote the Sherlock Holmes books P: [beat] ... Really? Gerraway. Me: Yeah P: [grinning] ...That reminds me - you must tell me more about this HTML you keep banging on about... Me: [blush]Sometimes I forget that P's got a bloody good education. Oops.* Talking about HTML like that is a sort of running joke in our household. It stems from a wedding I was at a ...
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