Category
Gits
Music awards.
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01.23.06The Gits Music Awards: 14 - The A Little Less Conversation, A Little More Musical Activity award(for the artist whose interviews/column inches/political broadcasts/press conferences far outweighed their musical contribution to the year) It's always a bit of a tosser toss-up between Geldof and Bono for this particular award, and in previous years it's been a close-run race with new boy Chris “=” Martin vying for attention at every conceivable opportunity, earning extra points for wearing his heart on his sleeve – or, more accurately, his Make Trade Fair symbol on his hand – at every situation where there are likely to be cameras. Video shoots, gigs, press conferences, out shopping with Gwynnie and little Granny Smith (or ...
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01.23.06The Gits Music Awards: 13 - The Daniel Whoingfield award(for the artist who seems to be famous without any perceivable talent or significant output whatsoever) Sean Paul, but mostly because every song sounds EXACTLY THE SAME. Seriously. How does he do that? Here’s a moneysaving tip, Sean Paul fans. Next time he has a single out, simply go down to the shop and buy one of his previous singles (they’ll be piled in the clearance bin by the till, marked down to 99p or so) because I assure you, it will be pretty much identical to his new effort.
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01.23.06The Gits Music Awards: 12 - The Depressing Northerners award(for the latest batch of gloomy whippet farmers) Difficult to say. I haven’t been able to look at ex-Verve frontman Richard Ashcroft without becoming depressed at his horrible lank hair and bizarrely stretched face, but that probably doesn’t count.
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01.22.06The Gits Music Awards: 11 - The Switch Off Your Television Set and Do Something Less Boring Instead award(for the artist who spent more time on children's television than in the studio or on the stage) McFly. Hotly touted (by their own record company) as the Next Big Thing in Music, the New Busted, etc etc, but in reality, nothing more than a bunch of big-faced children with Soho hair-dos and safety pins in their clothes. I’m sitting here, trying to summon a McFly song to mind, and there’s nothing there. I can picture them cavorting and gurning on some Saturday morning TV extravaganza, answering calls from viewers, possibly even taking part in a "humourous" skit ...
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01.22.06The Gits Music Awards: 10 - The You Oughta Know award(for the one album everyone should experience, regardless of year) Ooh, that’s tough. I’m just not that loyal to albums, really. I very rarely listen to albums – I’m more of a shuffle of various artists kind of girl. Joshua Tree is obviously one of those which if you haven’t experienced, then you really should, and you could say the same for some Bob Marley, some early Michael Jackson and some of The Cure’s output. However, I’m going to take this category to be about illuminating about things an audience might not have encountered in the grand scheme of things, ...
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01.21.06The Gits Music Awards: 9 - The Better And Better award(for the artist you already liked but who just got better) Not sure if this strictly counts, but I fell in love again last year with an artist I’d almost entirely forgotten about. I used to like the Trash Can Sinatras, but their output had waned of late, and so it was with great happiness that I stumbled across Weightlifting from their album of the same name, which hit all sorts of buttons. it's been a lonely winter hibernating away / you need a little sunlight on that face / how long can you stay in the darkness? / dust ...
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01.21.06The Gits Music Awards: 8 - The Give It Up, Baby Give It Up award(for the artist who should just fucking STOP already, and put us all out of our misery) Oasis. Seriously, lads, what are you still doing? Every time you get up on stage it’s like you’re your own covers band. Also nominated in this category: Elton John. He’s richer than God, and yet still he insists on the occasional release (so to speak). Why bother? Sit at home and count your piles instead!
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01.21.06The Gits Music Awards: 7 - The Sweetest Taboo Award(for the artist, album or song which you secretly find yourself liking and yet not wanting to admit to in public) Erm. Busted. And some S Club 7 is quite listenable, especially when you’re feeling horrible. And, um, Del Amitri. Shhhhhhhh.
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01.21.06The Gits Music Awards: 6 - The You’re So Vain award(for the artist whose haircut was more interesting than their (probably much-hyped) musical output) That’s got to go to the Kaiser Chiefs. I’m sure they’re great and everything, but their collective slick coiffurie left a far bigger impression on me than their music. Sorry. See also: Franz Ferdinand.
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01.21.06The Gits Music Awards: 5 - The Next Time Don’t Bother award(for the album from an established artist that was distinctly underwhelming) U2 – How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb When All That You Can’t Leave Behind came out, I was struck by how the tracks on that album fell into two neat camps: Good Songs and U2-By-Numbers. The first camp contained tracks that are a return to the form of their early years, when the band pumped out stonkingly good tracks with clever hooks and appropriately strong lyrics. The second camp contained songs which Bono clearly wrote on the crapper, containing idiotic Dr-Seuss-a-like lyrics and/or forced lyrical/political (polyrical?) points plus dreary ...
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