meish dot org: life, unfolding

It’s the Eurovision Song Contest final tonight and, as tradition dictates, we’ll be drinking cocktails and eating ironic snacks with a bunch of other gluttons for punishment enthusiasts in front of the performance.

I’m not a betting person, but if I were, here’s where I’d be putting my money, in no particular order:

Representing Armenia: Inga & Anush - Jan Jan (Nor Par)

This song means “new dance” - you can see people doing the new dance in the video - and as a result, it’s got exactly the kind of catchy melody, beat and repetitive chorus which makes it the very best/worst kind of earworm.

A warning to you: I listened to this a bunch of times earlier in the week and as a result I’m now entering day five of the earworm. Round and round and round it goes in my head. All day and all night. This is either an indication of its sheer cheesy genius, or that I’m a bit stressed and anything could have the same effect.

In any case, I have a special place in my heart for Armenia, after spending so many years frequenting the Deli-from-helli. On further consideration, perhaps “Nor Par” means “You want butter, lady?”

Ethnic influence: medium
General ability to find the country on a map: low
Catchiness: high
Meaningless lyrics: medium/high
Overall Eurovisibility: high

Representing Norway: Alexander Rybak - Fairytale

I think this manboy must be in the Norwegian equivalent of High School Musical, because he’s got exactly that kind of wholesome toothsome quality. Mind you, there’s no denying that he can play the fiddle, and he does so with gusto in this ever-so-slightly shouty ukranian-inspired stomper.

Ethnic influence: medium
General ability to find the country on a map: high
Catchiness: medium
Meaningless lyrics: low
Overall Eurovisibility: medium

Representing Portugal: Flor-de-lis - Todas as ruas do amor

This won’t win, but it’s a sweet song, performed by a group of musicians not using a backing track, who can genuinely play (here’s an acoustic version, just to prove it) which isn’t the point but it’s nice to see anyway.

Ethnic influence: high
General ability to find the country on a map: medium
Catchiness: low
Meaningless lyrics: low
Overall Eurovisibility: low

Representing Iceland: Yohanna - Is it True?

Really quite pedestrian, but it’s got all the makings of a winner because it’s well-written, well performed, not too challenging and memorable. The fact that the singer is hawt won’t go amiss either.

I do wonder whether viewers back home in Iceland will be watching with half a hope that they don’t win, though, because then they’d have to shell out to stage the event next year…

Ethnic influence: low
General ability to find the country on a map: high
Catchiness: medium
Meaningless lyrics: low
Overall Eurovisibility: medium

Representing lots of other countries: A dozen or more songs which sound like below-par eurotechno (Greece, Azerbaijan, Hungary, Finland) or like they’ve been lifted from a musical soundtrack (Malta, UK, Poland)

I wish there were more entries like this, though (from 1979):

Or of course this, the classic: