Oct 22, 2008
Things there really ought to be a word for
- The crushing inevitability that the irritating/drunk/loud bloke on the train will get off at your stop and may well turn out to be a neighbour
- The memory of a scent you once loved
- The experience of gorging yourself on a TV show via some time-shifted electronic medium
- The place where someone is when they’re on their mobile phone on a train
- The surefire knowledge that the cat is only sitting on you because there’s nothing warmer in the area, but as soon as there is, s/he will defect
- The warm spot on the sofa/bed/your lap after the cat has gone
- The realisation that your friends are at a party to which you haven’t been invited, which you didn’t expect to be anyway because you don’t know the host/ess
- The thronging of wankers on mobile phones on public transport directly around your seat
- The ability to understand a language but not speak it
- The person who thinks the signs prohibiting smoking, feet on seats, parking, making noise or throwing litter don’t actually apply to them
- The dream you have in between pushes of the snooze button
- A pair of glasses which has an entirely redundant pane of plain glass in front of one eye
- The realisation as the door swings closed that your keys are inside
- The moment or place you reach having left the house when you realise that you have come out without your phone/earrings/book/purse/travelcard but it’s slightly too far to go back to collect it/them
- The film of watery stuff that rests on top of the ketchup when the bottle has been unused for a bit and which can spurt out and soil your food if you don’t shake first
- The disappointment of spending a large-ish amount of money on a game console or particular game and, after the first flurry of play, realising that you can’t be arsed anymore
Actually, there’s a word for the last one already: in my house we call it Playstationnui or Wiiui. I don’t think there’s an Xbox equivalent, or if there is, I haven’t thought of it yet.
There are other words on a similar theme, of course:
- The feeling that you’ve eaten too many baked goods on a Sunday afternoon and so haven’t got any room for tea: Sconnui
- The realisation that every chick flick you’ve ever watched is exactly the same, and they all leave you with a faintly dirty feeling in your head: NoraEphronnui
- Frustration with living in a Scottish town within commuting distance of a big city and with a tendency to driech weather: BridgeofDonnui
- Irritation with Lenny Henry’s neverending attempts at humour via the medium of cliches spouted through a cod-Jamaican accent: Yeahmonnui
- The realisation that you’ve seen this episode of Without A Trace before, or if not this exact one, then another very similar indeed: Abductionnui
- Having had enough of buskers playing Phil Collins songs on squeezeboxes at the bottom of escalators: Accordionnui
- Boredom at another BBC nature documentary involving aerial shots of herds moving across the Serengeti: Bisonnui
- Realisation that there’s absolutely nothing on, again: Televisionnui
- The inability to think of a particular placename in purely geographical terms without putting the word “massacre” (or similar) after it because of too many headlines at a particularly unfortunate time a while back: Hebronnui
I’m sure there are more – over to you?
“The memory of a scent you once loved.”
- That aftershave. It just made my whole childhood come back with a sudden Proustian rush.
- Yeah? That’s ’cause I’m wearing Proustian Rush by Chanel. It’s reduced. I got a vat of it.
(Stardust Memories, Woody Allen)
I wonder if you have read The Meaning of Lif by Douglas Adams? The entire book lists the scenarios Adams thought needed words inventing for them and his suggestions. It’s a very funny read.
The one that sticks in my mind is “The small squares or circles of card that get punched out of railway tickets by the ticket inspector: Didcots“
I have! It’s all based on the names of places, isn’t it?
Ahh I’ve wanted to read the meaning of liff for some time now. Sometimes you just need these words!
I think ‘grok’ is sufficient for #9; it’s probably time it moved outside of geek circles.
I definitely need words for #11 and #13, since they happen to me so often…!
#6: How about catatrophy?
#14: If you’re headed for the Underground, I’d suggest “crossing the Tubicon”.
How about ‘Lam’ = location spam : artifact of being spammed by people signing up to geolocation services and pushing their location to you via some messaging service you’re both subscribed to.
“I’m in London!”, “I’m in south London!”, “I’m in Victoria!”, “I’m in Greece! Whoops, no I’m not!”
I. DO. NOT. CARE.
Malaise over mediation talks addressing tensions with Armenia: Azerbaijannui
Meeting someone on a Monday and your heart standing still: Dadooronronrondadoronronnui
There’s a Japanese word I love, which is aware, which is the expression of the resigned acceptance of the passing of things.
Great post, Meg. It reminded me of one of my favourite phrases by Raymond Chandler: “She smelled the way the Taj Mahal looks by moonlight.”
#13 definitely needs a word to describe the annoyance and panic as you desperately try and stop the door from shutting completely and always fail. #9 and #11 would be good words for me too.
The memory of a scent you once loved = Scentalgia
A pair of glasses which has an entirely redundant pane of plain glass in front of one eye = Monobins (actually, there is a technical term for these, and having been one-eyed for some time now I should know it).
Goodness, I haven’t been here for ages. Sorry.
Anyway, I think there is a term for the last one in your list. Surely it is post-purchase cognitive dissonance? Or post-playing cognitive dissonance. You have something shiny and new (the game)which should make you feel good, yet you feel disappointed with the outcome.
OK, so that isn’t a single word to describe it. Perhaps we could abbreviate it in some way?
As for number 12, the answer is surely not a new word, but a monocle? You just don’t see people with monocles these days.
As for number 14, pilots talk about vne (except they write the ne as subscript and I don’t think I can do that here), which stands for velocity (never exceed) – i.e. when you put an aircraft in a dive and it goes so fast that the wings fall off. I think we can agree that this would be undesirable.
Therefore, I propose that we refer to passing the dcbatgb (with the cbatgb in subscript) which stands for distance (can’t be arsed to go back). Obviously, this would depend on the object that had been left behind. For example, dcbatgb would be greater for keys or wallet than it might be for tissues or that birthday card that should have been posted yesterday anyway and is still sitting on the kitchen table. I’m sure I could devise some arcane formula to define dcbatgb.
Now, you may laugh, but I actually looked into getting a monocle when I discovered recently that (somehow, inexplicably) the sight in my right eye has corrected itself (over the last 23 years) to being 20:20 again (which must surely mean I’m sliding towards reading glasses within the next few years).
But monocles, there are none!
Auntiemabel, scentalgia is a great word. Spot-on.
Graybo, I think there’s something in your dcbatgb theory – you’re right, it’s absolutely variable depending on what you’ve left behind. I look forward to seeing your workings!
The Meaning of Liff is up online. My pick from that has always been:
Aberystwyth ~ A nostalgic yearning which is in itself more pleasant than the thing being yearned for.
which sums up my feelings about my ex-uni town [of Aberystwyth] perfectly.
#14 could be the point of no return.
No. 13 could be a damnosecond – the moment of time between shutting the door and realing your keys are inside, or indeed closing a file on the computer without saving it.
Liff had a word for the slightly unpleasant feeling of a seat warmed by a recently vacated bottom – would that do for the cat? Alas I cannot remember it and CBATG.
Shoeburyness. I was arsed after all.
“As for number 12, the answer is surely not a new word, but a monocle? You just don’t see people with monocles these days.” (Quoting a comment)
Crying shame in my mind! Monocle’s rock. If I wasn’t equally short-sighted in both eyes I’d want to try one. I suppose I could always get two..? Maybe we need to start driving demand?
Great post Meg, I might have a read of Liff this weekend :)