… which are probably best avoided but for which there should definitely be some sort of “get out of jail free” card which you could just wave at people and then walk away.*
- Bumping into your boss when sweaty at the gym
- Getting into the same revolving door cubicle as someone else because you didn’t realise it was too small for two people, and having to do that awful, intimate shuffle around
- Bumping into an ex while out with your current paramour
- Sitting next to a talkative person on the plane when you really, really don’t want to engage
- Spotting a colleague hasn’t done up his flies
- Realising that the unearthly stench assaulting your nostrils comes from your friend/colleague/parent’s breath/BO/arse
- Calling someone confidently by the wrong name when you don’t have the excuse of having just met them (e.g. friend, colleague, lover)
- Being very underdressed at a smart function because you didn’t read the invitation carefully enough
- Realising you’ve just bitched about someone who is related to/very dear to/married to the person you’re talking with
- Being aurally assaulted by a racist cab driver
- Sitting at a table at a wedding where you don’t know anyone and running out of small talk
- Making what you thought was a funny comment, but which was actually massively inappropriate - a complete clanger - which leaves everyone staring at their fingernails
There must be more. Are there more?
* In fact, here you are: print, cut out and carry this about your person - use when you really need it.
Can I order a bumper pack of these cards? They would come in really handy.
I never called my now-hubby by his name for YEARS for fear of doing 7. He knew I left someone else for him and that there was therefore an overlap with someone else and him, but still - it was terrifying. Even now 8 years later I still sometimes get scared of doing it!
Getting onto a busy bus, and the only available seat being next to an acquaintance with whom you are forced to make tortured conversation for the duration of your journey.
I’ve fallen victim to all twelve of those situations. Ouch.
Oh, plus one for Vici’s suggestion!
oops, autocomplete gone wild on my URL there!
Other than this list, I don’t think I’ve anything else truer than something Angela (Claire Danes) says in ‘My So-Called Life’:
“What I like, dread, is when people who know you in completely different ways end up in the same area. And you have to develop this, like, combination you on the spot.”
Been there. Done that. I do think you’re a different person in different situations and there’s nothing too confusing than trying to choose one to be when for example your best friend from school, the platonic friend you’re in love with and some bloke you met on a course all meet a range of your work colleagues. As I found out on my 27th birthday.
you should make a business card sized version and add it to your MOO account
Denise - that’s a good idea. I’ll get onto it.