Apr 3, 2008
As You Like It
The other night, out for dinner with friends, we found ourselves discussing the perfect food. Not favourite food – that’s a different question – but perfect food, which works in a number of contexts and is flexible and suits all palletes. Cheese, we thought, maybe. Or pasta. Or even bacon.
But you know what we came up with?
Toast.
Think about it:
- It can be a morning food or an evening snack.
- It can form part of an entire meal (beans on toast) or an accompaniment (soldiers).
- You can have it open-faced or in sandwich form.
- You can fill it with sweet things or savoury stuff
- You can fill it with hot things, cold things or a combination of the two.
- You can make it from a range of products (brown bread, white bread, ciabatta, etc)
- It can be prepared in about three minutes.
- It can be prepared by just about anyone.
- Oh, and it’s yummy, to boot.
I defy you to find another foodstuff as adaptable, quick and satisfying.
Honestly, the person who came up with the idea of baking bread once and then baking it a bit more? Fricking genius.
So here’s my perfect toast:
– Malted wholegrain bread, full size, medium sliced
– Toasted for 2 minutes or until slightly stiff and golden, just rigid on the periphery yet still soft and flexible in the central plains
– Removed from toaster immediately, then let to sit on the plate or counter for 30 seconds or so, to get rid of immediate heat (NB may leave a little toast sweat)
– Spread right up to the edges with spreadable butter, medium amount. The butter should not soak in to the bread immediately – if it does, the toast is too hot and the topping will stick.
– A light layer of Vegemite, smeared across the butter, to ensure the two tastes are mingled but not blended. You’re aiming for a mottled or marbled effect, not a light brown paste, here.
– Consumed immediately (eating crusts first) with a cup of tea.
Your turn.
While you’re thinking, here’s Paul Young singing about Toast in 1978.
This may well be the theme song of this blog.













I don’t know whether the slots in my toaster are unusually small, but I get quite annoyed when I get a new loaf of bread out and find that it won’t fit. Yes, I know I could cut it but every additional bit of preparation goes against the convenience of the whole thing as far as I’m concerned.
Granary toast with peanut butter and tomato ketchup. I’ve lived on this since I was a teenager. Has to be the sugar-free (and preferably salt-free) wholefood, crunchy type of peanut butter.
Has to be a decent, tomatoey, spicy ketchup, not too sugary or heavy on the vinegar. After years of careful research, I’ve come to the conclusion that Lidl makes the best ketchup.
You can add a layer of normal dairy butter before the peanut butter if you’re feeling piggish, but I’m not sure it adds much to the proposition other than calories.
Even nicer after a few beers. I suppose some would say you’d need to be pissed to eat it in the first place, but I choose not to listen to such heresy.
How much are the Toast Marketing Board paying you? :)
7 grain bread lightly toasted with crunchy peanut butter and nutella (chocolate hazelnut spread) – like eating a warm flat chocolate bar, but actually good for you (in moderation. Really!) With requisite cuppa of course.
Alternatively, toast with light cream cheese and homemade strawberry jam, mmmmmm.
And don’t forget lightweight and value for money.
Also, toast travels well. You can get in a plane, fly for 16 hours and you’d be able to walk out across the street and get some toast.
Nice one, Meg. A toast to your toast post.
Cliff (White medium farmhouse, peanut butter [crunchy])
Yes, the carbohydrate wins (again). “Gotta love carbs” as my colleague says.
I am glad you are using proper butter. On the piece of toast on the left in the picture, the marmite is too thickly spread.
A great sandwich is a fish finger sandwich – with toasted bread, grilled fishfingers, floppy lettuce, tartare sauce (IMO).
My other current favourite – the Rebus:
toasted bread, Marks and Spencer lean corned beef slice(in the chill cabinet, not tin), and sliced cooked beetroot.
I’ll see your ‘toast and raise you ‘toasties’. As a student, the toastie-maker is one genuinely indispensable piece of kitchen kit.
Also, Matthew, I could kiss you for that reference!
Firstly Hg – butter with peanut butter is wrong – too much butter. However I do like peanut butter on toast with any sort of dark / blue jam / jelly or my favourite is with ginger preserve – it’s a bit poncy but works well.
I’m with Meg totally on toast sweat. I like it hot but if you throw it on the plate and butter straight away, you do get the soggy bottom. I have a friend who makes a toast pyramid like making a house of cards just to keep the toast “aired” a bit before buttering.
My method is to sit it on top of the toaster for a while to keep it “aired”.
My perfect toast – very, very hard as I eat so much of the stuff. Crumpets, muffins, French toast (does that count here – probably not), pita bread, naan bread – too many already.
But if I was to go for one perfect toast with “bread” in the traditional sense it would have to be a white crusty loaf – either sliced or one you slice yourself. Served as hot as possible (with the sweat provisos above) with a fake butter (sorry I know – but I have to watch my cholesterol) and that’s it.
Taken curled up on the sofa, in front of the TV on a Sunday afternoon with a mug of cocoa or Rooibos spiced tea (my new favourite tea). Probably watching Colombo or Poirot.
we were saying the very same thing about toast just this morning. today we had it hot with marmalade and accompanied by a cup of tea for breakfast. then for lunch we had toast with soup (split pea and winter vegetable). with soup it’s good if you butter the toast fairly soon after cooking and then let it go a bit cold before you eat it. mmm.
… and how did you know about the haircut Meg?
French toasters (or at least our French one) have little indentations on the metal at the top of the slice hole that perfectly cradle a croissant or pain-au-chocolat. Place pastry in cradle, and then hit the setting on the dial marked with a drawing of a croissant, et voila – perfect warm breakfast pastries without the palaver of heating up the oven.
To truly make such a breakfast une repas cordiale, the toast can even be toasted in the slots below during the warming.
I live on toast – it’s my staple diet, my snacks, my I’m too exhausted to think of anything else and my I’m in a major hurry food.
I love ricotta and honey on toasted rye for breakfast and for my I’m exhausted nights – grated cheese on multi grain with tuna.
When I was a teen I used to eat toast with banana, cornflakes and honey… mmm and I now love soldiers with all the fancy breads, rye, sour dough, low GI and the fancier and more seeded the more delicious with olive oil.
Excellent. This toast thing is really catching on.
For my money, butter with PB is a must (I especially like to have a big daub of butter in the corner with an equal amount of PB – this is the last bit of the slice I eat and oooh, flavour country).
I also like raisin toast with Vegemite (a light spread). People look at me funny when I do but have they tried it? No.
Great post Meg.
When I was a kid it was light wheat toast with creamy peanut butter and sliced bananas.
When I was in college I practically lived on whole wheat, buttered with light tuna on top.
Now I love Jackson Toasting Bread (local), it has a cornmealy crust on top. Toasted in the toaster-oven, buttered then returned to melt further, topped with a light spread of quince jelly.
I return to my earlier favorites with nostalgia, they do not fail.
Crunchy organic peanut butter and Branston pickle.
Tahini and soy sauce (sprinkle the soy onto the toast first or it just rolls off the tahini in globules).
Grilled cheese and jalapeno peppers. Awesome with a beer or two.