(Cobbled together for the recent nuptials of some friends, and based on my experiences of weddings, as guest (multiple), participant (several) and hostess (single). Please add your own!)

On Wellbeing (Physical and Otherwise)

• Everyone will tell you to relax. You won’t — you’ll have not enough sleep and too much to do, and the whole thing will be full-on and in your face and a bit mad. But that’s ok. In fact, that’s more than ok. The extra adrenaline will get you through.
• Don’t sweat the small stuff. It doesn’t matter if it rains/something breaks/someone stuffs up their line. It’s not supposed to be the most perfect day of your lives. Important, yes, perfect, no.
• If you feel yourself start to panic of hyperventilate (even in a good way), shut your mouth. It’s impossible to overbreathe when you’re using your nose.
• The whole thing will pass in a blur — a happy blur! — but make sure you’ve got one person looking out for you through the day to make sure you eat/hydrate enough — this is what best friends are for. It’s important to do this because the whole day will go by in a spin, your feet will barely touch the ground, and you can easily wind up at two am in the hotel, starving and unaccountably cranky with each other. Hello, blood sugar?
• Your feet will be so sore the next day. You won’t notice at the time, but my god, come the morning, you’ll be in agony. Consider gel pads (her) and comfort insoles (him) and make sure someone on your team has band-aids. And comfy shoes for tomorrow!
• There is every possibility you’ll end up with a headache, either via stress or breakfast champagne or just constant attention. Who’s got the drugs?
• Tissues. That’s all I’m saying.
• Focus on the other side. It’s a magical, beautiful, stressful event, and for something so magnificent, it can really take it out of you. Promise yourself a margarita on the beach (or on the plane!) and focus on how great that’s going to be. Send us a postcard (or a flickr pic!)
• You’ll get separated throughout the day. The funny thing about weddings is that they seem to conspire to keep the couple apart for huge chunks of the day — something about the demands of family and attention and ritual. This is natural and understandable, but feel free to be firm with family or friends if you want to go find your beloved at some point.

On Making the Day Last Forever (Not Literally, Though: That Would Be Knackering)

• Find a moment during the day, during the reception, to escape. Just the two of you. If you can, find somewhere to step back and look in on the scene: all your friends and family having fun, celebrating your marriage. Hold this image in your mind. Hold each other. Remember this.
• Make sure someone in each group of friends or family or on each table is tasked with getting photos of the people around them. Everyone’s lenses will be trained on you two - you’d be amazed how easy it is for you to wind up with 78,000 photos of the happy couple and none of Auntie Maureen, or your best friend.
• The official photos are a permanent record, but they can only capture so much of the event. The other bit, the bit in your head, the photographer can’t access. On the plane the next day, or in the hotel that night, scribble down a few mental images or memories of the day. They fade quickly, but scrawling them will help them fix in your head.
• Make sure there are photos of the details, not just the people. The details are the easiest thing to capture (they don’t move) and the hardest thing to remember, later. Buttonholes, bouquet ties, table toppings, name plates…
• If you’re not already doing so, and although it’s late notice, get a scrapbook (or even a plain moleskin!), attach a pen and get it doing the rounds during the reception. People can write in their good wishes, or their reflections on the event, or their drunken slobbering about you both, and it makes a nice compliment to the wedding photos, to remembering who was there and what it was like.
• Do you have a song? Something you’re walking down the aisle to? Or first dance? Make sure it’s on the iPod. I guarantee that two days later it will crop up in shuffle mode, and your heart will burst into bloom and you’ll bawl happy tears. Best feeling ever.
• Before you go away to do the deed, get a bottle of something nice, and pop it in the fridge. When you get home, before you return to the everyday and go back to work, toast everything that’s happened.
• As soon as you get back from honeymoon — in fact, no, before — book a weekend away or a special meal out or a holiday or something. Do not underestimate the crushing comedown after the exhilaration and giddy wonder of the wedding and the sheer relief and well-earned relaxation of the honeymoon. You need something to look forward to.