Nov 15, 2007
A Light Bite
Living in Spain, I became familiar with the concept of tapas – small snackettes which can be served with beer – and greeted their gradual introduction to the UK with a combination of amusement (because people ordered loads of plates at a time, as a meal, rather than in sequence) and gratitude (because, y’know, yum).
Over the years, I’ve seen the style of ordering and food presentation migrate, so that you can now get Indian tapas, Chinese tapas….even Thai tapas.
All of which got me to thinking: if there was such a thing as British tapas, what would it be? It would have to consist of foods which were naturally small or bite-size and snackable, and not miniaturised versions of things – so no mini quiche and burgers. Extra attention will be given to any dish which is designed as a snack or to be eaten – in traditional tapas fashion – on the go, as well as being slightly stodgy and designed to soak up the effects of alcohol.
Dishes would also need to be authentically British – so, for example this review of a British tapas joint in Chiswick featuring figs stuffed with blue cheese and baked tomatoes with feta is cheating. Although you can, of course get such things here these days, they’re not particularly native, are they?
I’ve come up with:
- Cocktail sausage rolls
- Actually, any sausage rolls
- Yorkshire puddings? Would they be too wet?
- Cheese ploughman’s rolls
- Scotch eggs
- Pasties
- Rock buns
- Pies (the kind you can get at older football stands)
Based on the above, I must conclude that, actually, we already have a chain of British tapas eateries in our nation’s high streets: Greggs.
Peanuts, crisps, and olives if you’re lucky.
Chips?
Pickled eggs, pickled gherkins, pickled onions. Salted peanuts, cheese-and-an-apple, a doorstep.
The Gregg’s baby, in a buggy covered in flaky pastry…. ;)
First thing we do when we hit Spain; dump bags at father-in-laws, hit the best local tapas bar.
Disappointingly one of the ex-pat pubs he visits has tapas of … yup, sausage rolls, bridies and pies.
They don’t, as yet, do Big Softies.
Ham sandwiches, jam tarts, battenburg cake, swiss rolls.
Mmm, wartime Sunday tea.
Pork pies. It’s gotta be pork pies, preferably Melton Mowbray :)
Pork Scratchings.
Crackling in general.
Sandwiches, cut into triangles, sans crusts.
The Charterhouse restaurant – a mini-Flatiron shaped restaurant in Smithfield Market – originally announced itself to the world as doing ‘British Tapas’ and my gastronautical memory tells me they didn’t do too bad a job of it. I actually went there again last week, for the first time since the last dotcom boom when I went there quite a lot. The menu has reverted to a standard starters/mains/desserts structure now, and it seems to be falling into faded glory mode, quiet except for a couple of mums with toddlers and another solo businessman with Blackberry like me.
Cheese and biccies. Bath Olivers or Jacob’s Cream Crackers — great for sopping up alcohol. Cheddar is one of the world’s finest cheeses, no ifs and buts. Little M&S pork pies cut in four as finger-food. The pastry is supremely important, as is the jelly. The pork — meh.
Pickled stuff: gherkins, eggs, walnuts, onions. Ham and piccalilli, also roast pork and roast beef. Pickles help people to drink more. Cold beef and Colman’s mustard would, too.
Tiny little lamb chops on the bone, one bite to each of them, with mint jelly. Delicious even when cold. Baked beans with a dash of Lea & Perrins, also delicious cold. Eat them with a teaspoon out of a little dish.
Somebody mentioned chips: I was in a Belgian bar last night that brings a side dish of fresh fries with your beers, nothing could be so moreish.
Now that smokers are out of British pubs, the time has come for food to make a real entry. Great native snacks, good beers, no Eurofizz and no Breezers, the pub could become part of the culture again.
Cheesy footballs! (small, round, and fried, corn-based crunchy snack, rolled in some sort of cheese powder, salt, and food colouring combination)
Also Coronation Chicken Sandwiches cut into quarters, Chese and pinapple on cocktail sticks, pigs in blankets. Roast Potatoes in Gravy instead of Patatas Bravas.
I’m hungry now…
What about cubes of pineapple and cheddar cheese on cocktail sticks?
For maximum Britishness they would have to be served stuck in a potato wrapped in tinfoil…
<pedant>Burgers are a German invention, so would not be admissable for British tapas (Hamburgers, from Hamburg – although you’d be hard pushed to find one in Hamburg).</pedant>
I think this goes to show that British cuisine, like the people and culture, is made up from ingredients and influences from all over the world, mixed together and interpreted in our own peculiar way. Perhaps a true British tapas would include something from just about every cuisine you could think of.
You did know that the Quality Chop House on Farringdon Road had a strange concept called Chopas, right?
Tapas.