File under: Society & Media, Web

Facebook questions

I’ve noticed a growing number of people arriving on this site after searching for Facebook-related queries on search engines.

I think it’s in the interests of public service to try and provide answers to some of those queries. The search strings remain unedited. The answers may not actually be correct. But this is the internet, after all - you get what you pay for, and why let a bit of uninformed opinion get in the way of making a blog post?

  1. When someone pokes you on Facebook does it mean they fancy you?
    Yes. Poking someone is an online-tribal way of flirting. The sequence usually goes poke - poke back - wall message - wall reply - silence - poke - poke back - babies
  2. Poke on Facebook is sex
    It usually involves a bit more than that. If that’s all you’re expecting in the bedroom department, you are ludicrously easy to please.
  3. Who looked me up on Facebook?
    It was me - I cannot tell a lie. Also, everyone you ever went to school with, and their new boy/girlfriends, and your old teachers, and your parents, and the guy who owns the shop down the street, and your boss.
  4. Facebook compare people
    This is one of the most insidious apps I’ve seen on FB, actually - it turns social relationships into competitions, and encourages the user to make judgements on which of their friends would be better in any particular character - best to share a room with, most flirtatious, funniest, and so on. Frankly, I’m surprised people who use the compare people app still actually have any friends… (also, it’s been a bit evil with regards to user data privacy)
  5. How remove compare people app fb
    See?
  6. Facebook compae people app winners
    In this life, people who compare their friends aren’t winners…they’re giant LOSERS
  7. Facebook poking meaning
    It means your friend has a thorn in their hoof and needs help removing it.
  8. Facebook and social relationships
    See here.
  9. Facebook off the wall
    It’s a Michael Jackson album, but with people writing things on the cover which should probably have been put in an envelope instead.
  10. Removing a poke in facebook
    You can’t - once it’s out there, it’s out there. If you poked someone in real life, could you take it back?
  11. What means poke
    It means they want you to pass the remote
  12. Facebook status examples funny
    …trapped under a heavy object
    …a figment of speech
    …hiding in your closet
    …a hopeful romantic
    …not feeling very funny
  13. Famous people on Facebook
    Kevin Spacey, Douglas Bader, Sir Alan Sugar, William Wallace. They’re all there. What, you mean they’re not your friends, too?
  14. Good Facebook pseudonym
    Arnold Schwarzenegger. Next!
  15. What is vampire bites facebook
    You know, I have NO idea. Actually, I do - it’s like a chain letter, only with saliva. And fangs.

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