There’s this consensual, shared hallucination which leads people who live in our nation’s capital to loudly insist “Oh it NEVER snows in London” whenever a flurry is forecast by the Met Office.
But it does! It bloody does! At least once a year!
Admittedly, it’s only ever the sort of amount which might make a Canadian consider popping on a light cardigan over their MEC t-shirt, but still. It’s often enough to grind the whole city to an embarassing halt, with all its residents screeching at each other in astonishment at the meteorological phenomenon and the effect it seems to have had. Perhaps it’s this dogged insistence about and determination to believe in the predictability of our weather (or the accuracy of the predictions of out weather forecasters) that makes this city so unable to accept or cope with a few flakes?
The thing is, for the most part, it’s not even particularly snowy. It is, in fact, the closest weather can get to snow without actually being snowy. There’s white stuff and it falls from the sky - so far, so good - and it may very well lie powdery soft on the tops of sheds and cars, reflecting blue light for a few quiet hours in the morning. But come rush hour, the city heats up, and the constant drag of cars on tarmac means it all gets a bit grey and compressed and slurry-like.
At least, this is the case if you have any interraction with the middle of town (and by “middle” I’m referring to civilisation: zones 1-2). And yes, before you tell me, I have no doubt that in the frozen tundras of South East London there’s a growing number of slide-by shootings, in which armed penguins on skidoos take out smaller mammals with pea-shooters, and above the Arctic Circle (also known as the North Circular) there be polar bears, roaming the snow-laden streets, their cubs tumbling playfully down the drifts.
But here, in the middle, it’s not deep. It’s not crisp. And it’s not even. But I guess the song wouldn’t have sounded the same if there’d been a line about the snow laying about slight and patched and slushy.
Dealing with London Snow: an Insider Guide
- Snow angels are usually a bad idea in London, because they involve a) lying down on the ground and b) moving erractically. The former of these activities might cause you to become rather closer acquainted with the territorial markings of the neighbourhood dogs than you might otherwise prefer. The combination of the former with the latter behaviours could inspire someone to call an ambulance, thinking that you’re having a seizure.
- Do not eat the snow. We all know what Confucious he (apocryphally) say about yellow snow, but he clearly hadn’t visited London, where you should not only not eat the yellow snow, but also steer clear of the black, grey and sort of brown stuff, too.
- Don’t try to catch snowflakes on your tongue. Although the first flush of romance may lead you to believe that this is a playful, magical activity, be aware that due to the incresingly busy Heathrow flightpath, the stuff hurtling earthwards towards your face is probably coated in jetfuel.
- Expect the “oooh!”s and “aaaah!”s inspired by an overnight snowfall to turn into cantakerous grumping by the time people have struggled into the office, having circumnavigated the city with wet feet on an aging transport infrastructure ill-equipped to deal the the horros of cold wet stuff.
- Those kids standing on the street corner, holding things that look like snowballs? They’re not snowballs. They’re crack.
Any other tips?
I remember, about five years ago, it snowed like an almighty bastard in mid-February. There was about half a foot of the stuff laying and it kept on blizzarding down. At least, that’s what it was like in Dalston. I was on the top deck of the 38 with my girlfriend looking down on all the other traffic covered in white. It was bloody brilliant.
Like you however, I didn’t eat the falling snow. That would have been stupid.
6. Bus lanes do not turn into ski lanes once covered in snow - skiers should stick to the pavements along with pedestrians and cyclists.
7. The tube stops when it snows not because of weather on the overground tracks, but because the strange mole-men who peddle the trains get over excited by the snow and bunk off for the day.
8. Yes, the congestion charge is applicable to skidoos.
I dunno about a cardigan. I would say that if it rarely snows in London, it’s likely to be around zero when snowing. So it’ll be wet snow. Now a cardigan would hold that moisture and lose all heating properties. I would say more of a light, waterproof shell, maybe a rain jacket.
Why does a little snow make the the city stop? Well, in cities where it rarely snots they have no way to deal with it. One advantage most continental canadian cities have is that it is sub zero when snowing, so it doesn’t ice up instantly. But in places that rarely snow there are a host of other factors. Cars have summer tires on or “All season”, theres no infastructure to deal with it, it may be little, but it’s still in the way. No salt or gravel to put down. So on and so forth.
Canadians real advantage is we’re used to it, and like good boyscouts (alebit ones who often whinge for raises) we prepare.
I must admit I did draft a slightly sarcastic post about this… didn’t post though.
Went something along the lines of..
NEWSFLASH. Scientist say sun is dying out soon. Mass panic sweeps the globe, governments trying to keep it quiet.
Scientist confirms that when he said “soon” he meant on the universal scale, so about 4 gazillion years from now.
In other news, it snowed in the South of England for a short while. The world still spins.
In other words - big southern softies! ;-)
Haha! great post. I like that 1st picture!
Don’t worry; it’s a common phenomenon. Out here in the general vicinity of Sunny San Francisco, a mere rainstorm is enough to grind the whole city to an embarassing halt. It’s maddening for those of us who actually know how to drive/function/not-melt in the presence of this wet stuff that is mysteriously falling from the sky. It starts to rain, and suddenly the *biggest* story on the evening/morning news is “It’s raining. Oh yeah, and your commute will suck today because of it.” I can’t even imagine what would happen if it got cold enough for snow to accumulate on the ground…
Not really sure why the UK should be geared up to deal with snow - it only happens once every three or four years so why bother?
I’m glad that you were able to enjoy a touch of the pristine (yet jet fuel infused) white blanket of snow, if only for a day.
A little different perspective: http://technicolouryawp.blogspot.com/2006_11_01_archive.html
Where I live in Alberta, it’s actually further south than London and these are some pictures of my town in November. I was even out snowshoeing in October this past year. It’s curious; I dream about visiting London, even with the little bit of snow you had, and you probably dream about someplace that’s not anything like Alberta.
I think that one’s continued ability to feel, nay, shout loudly:
“ZOMG SNOW!!1!!eleven!”
is probably a sound indicator that, deep within, a shred of childlike wonder at the world remains.
The snow is melted. Long live the snow!
ah yes, as i sit here in balmy -26 celsius toronto with the snowglobe snow falling furiously, i am ooohhhing and aaaahhhhing right now, but i know when i step out bright and surly tomorrow morning and drag my sorry arse through it just to get to the streetcar to get covered in the mysterious black crap stuck to our streetcars in the winter, i will curse it, repeatedly and loudly….