There are two phrases I hear a lot in the course of my work, which tickle me in some small way. I don’t think they’re perculiar to my workplace or industry, but they certainly seem to be increasing in frequency and breadth over the last few months. I’m as guilty as anyone else of using them, and I wonder if anyone reading this has any experience of them out in the wilds of your workplaces. Do tell…
The first is used when trying to get a little face-time with someone (no, that’s not the phrase, though it’s bad enough in its own way.) I regularly hear people asking:

“Can we sit down later and discuss X?”

or

“Let’s find some time to sit down this week”

or

“I’m going to be sitting down with Y tomorrow, I’ll ask then”

I can’t help being amused by this because when you think about it, it’s a bit ridiculous - especially because in our (mostly sedentary, when we’re not hiking between office buildings or jetting about) daily work we do very little except sit down. We’re sitting down constantly - on commutes, at our desks, in meetings - and so whenever someone asks me if I’ve got time to sit down, I try hard to bite my tongue and refrain from smartarsing that I AM sitting down ALREADY, thankyouverymuch. Silly.

The other phrase, and the one which is sillier still, and yet seems much more prevelent (I’ve just heard Sarah Beeny use it in the course of her Property Stupidity Ladder show) is usually used in the context of people expressing an opinion or making a decision, or reflecting on a situation. They say:

“With your business hat on…”

or

“…with my European hat on, I’d recommend….”

or

“…wearing my technology hat for a minute, it looks like…”

I’ve heard of De Bono’s six thinking hats in creativity and innovation, but these are just ridiculous. The trouble is that all of this brings to my mind an image of actual hats.

In fact, I’m very tempted to make a business hat (bowler?), and a strategy hat (surely something with pockets?), and a European hat, and a consumer experience hat (a panama which always looks good even after a long-haul flight?), and an anthropologist hat (that’s a big one, floppy brim, perhaps with a notebook tucked in the headband?) and a geek hat (I’m picturing a wool beanie here, with a logo of some kind), and a social media hat (probably something hand-knitted from Peru, with earflaps) and in fact a hat for all occasions and roles I’m required to participate in or under, which I would then carry around (perhaps in a big bag) and pop them on whenever I was adopting that particular perspective or authority. That’d leave no room for doubt about which particular hat I was wearing when making any decisions, or attending any meetings, see?
I wonder what a European hat would look like?

Answers on a postcard…