Honey - have to take US colleague out for a drink. Home soon xx
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No probs. See you soon xx
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Still here. Sorry. Won't be too long xx
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I'm starving. Shall I eat without you? xx
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Probably should. Go ahead, but make for me too? xx
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Will do. Curry?
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Sure. Or what about suicid? xxx

Damn predictive text. Can you imagine having to explain that one to the authorities?

“Honestly officer, I meant quiche, but my phone decided otherwise. I had no idea he’d go through with it, especially spelt wrong…”