(for the artist who spent more time on children’s television than in the studio or on the stage)

McFly. Hotly touted (by their own record company) as the Next Big Thing in Music, the New Busted, etc etc, but in reality, nothing more than a bunch of big-faced children with Soho hair-dos and safety pins in their clothes.

I’m sitting here, trying to summon a McFly song to mind, and there’s nothing there. I can picture them cavorting and gurning on some Saturday morning TV extravaganza, answering calls from viewers, possibly even taking part in a “humourous” skit with the regular presenters. But I can’t actually imagine what they sound like, or name anything they’ve done.

I think this perfectly positions them as worthy recipients of this award, as it’s clear that they’ve spent more time in the TV studio than any music one this year.

Thank heaven, as they say, for small mercies.