Pancake day today, and even for those not partaking in the next forty days of contemplation and (semi-)fasting, a jolly good excuse to stuff your face with pancakes.

It really is the most laughably easy recipe in the world. Don’t believe Our Lady of Norwich when she tries to make it seem like a total faff:

“Sift the flour and salt into a large mixing bowl with a sieve held high above the bowl so the flour gets a airing … Then begin whisking the eggs … incorporating any bits of flour from around the edge of the bowl as you do so … Next gradually add small quantities of the milk and water mixture, still whisking … When all the liquid has been added, use a rubber spatula to scrape any elusive bits of flour from around the edge into the centre, then whisk once more … melt the 50g/2oz of butter in a pan. Spoon 2 tbsp of it into the batter and whisk it in, then pour the rest into a bowl…”

What a klart. Really, it’s not that complicated, Delia.

My favourite bit is her instruction:

“It’s also helpful if you spoon the batter into a ladle so it can be poured into the hot pan in one go”

What? Use a spoon to put the batter into a ladle to put the batter into a pan?

Good grief. Someone is clearly not responsibile for doing her own washing up.

Here’s my much much simpler recipe, which makes about 10 thin crepes:

1 cup of plain flour
1 cup of milk
1 egg, beaten
1 pinch of salt

(If you don’t know what a “cup” is, then how on earth do you drink your tea - out of a bucket? No, seriously, for cup, think teacup, or 2/3 of a mug, approx.)

Combine flour and milk, then whisk in egg and salt. Beat lightly until smooth. Leave to rest for 20-30 mins (possibly covered by a clean teatowel, if you’ve got a curious cat) and then heat frying pan medium-hot. Pour on (with ladle, or half a mug) enough batter to lightly cover the base of the pan, when swirled around. Wait 20-30 seconds. Flip. Same on other side.

Scoff with any of the following fillings, by rolling up and chopping into chunks:

• lemon juice and sugar

• orange juice (squeezed from an orange, not poured from a carton) and sugar
• vegemite and cheese
• runny honey and banana slices
• strawberries and icing sugar
• goats cheese and halved cherry tomatoes
• chocolate spread
• anything you fancy, really

The recipe is scaleable - I usually make 2 batches to start off with, and a third (fourth, fifth…) depending how hungry people are.

Pancakes are best eaten straight off the production line, still burny hot from the pan. One of the best bits of the ritual is flipping the pancakes and calling “who wants this one?” as plates jostle for the next serving. And you can forget about using a knife and fork, too. Pancakes taste best when you have to lick your sticky fingers afterwards to get the remains of the lemony sugar off them.