I know they’re following me.

First it was McD’s, shooting an ad in the flat across the road from us in West Kensington.

Then tonight, I stopped off at the shops nearest our house on the way home, hankering for carbonated water with which to make fizzy ‘beena. But no, I couldn’t go into the shop because there was a lighting van parked outside, and two burly blokes barring the way. And within, a huge crowd of people, including a total stranger behind the till (not our usual friendly newsagent) and a man in what looked to be a pink seethrough outfit trimmed with fluff.

Turns out they’re filming an ad for this weekend’s News of the World.

So on saturday, if you should see it, think of me padding around to that self-same shop with messy hair to buy a paper.

No, not that one. The Guardian.