I was supposed to be having an operation on September 12. I don’t think I mentioned it here, but I’d been on the waiting list for 9 months or so.

In June, I went in for a pre-assessment to check whether I was suitable for day case general anaesthetic - in and out in a day, four days recovery.

For various reasons, I wasn’t, and so they told me then and there that I’d have to stay in overnight after the operation which meant going onto whole different waiting list instead - the GA overnight stay list. Right. Lost six months of waiting, go to the back of the queue.

So three months later, September 11 rolls around, and I received a phone call from the hospital saying
“We’re expecting you in for an operation tomorrow, day case general anaesthetic….”
I said
“Er…”
and explained to the administrator on the other end of the phone that three months ago, someone from her office - possibly even her - had called up and told me I wasn’t suitable for day case GA on September 11, and while I was more than happy to come in and be chopped up a bit, that probably wasn’t such a good idea, considering that I, er, wasn’t suitable, for whatever reason.

She said
“Oh. No, you can’t come in tomorrow. No, no.”
and opined that whoever had declared me unsuitable must have forgotten to complete the required paperwork - hence, I was still on the first waiting list, and because you can only be on one waiting list at a time, they hadn’t put me on the second one yet at all.

Arse.

So the woman said “oops” and crossed me off the first, and popped me on the second waiting list right at the back of the queue again. Another three months of waiting lost.

Yesterday, Tuesday, they called up again and said that they’d had a cancellation, and would I be able to come in….today, Wednesday?

That’s less than 24 hours notice for an operation and a 36 hour stay in hospital, plus two weeks recovery.

I said I’d have to think about it and call them back.

I thought about it and called them back to say sorry, but no. I just can’t take two weeks off like that - plus can’t possibly psych myself up with less than a day’s notice.

But there are reasons I can’t go through with it. P can’t look after me while I’m supposed to be looking after him. And a week after the recovery period, I’d be flying off to Cyprus. And if we both had bandages on our faces, people would think we were very odd indeed. And and and and.

So now I’m waiting again - and possibly at the back of the queue once more. Fuckity fuck. It’s a good thing it’s not life-threatening.