We saw David Blaine in his little perspex box the other day, dangling not-especially-high above the ground beside Tower Bridge. We were walking along the Thames Path, on the other side of the river. It occurred to us to trudge across the bridge with the massing hoardes, to stand beneath the box and gawp, but we couldn’t be bothered and went to get a bagel instead.

But for a while, we stood on the foreshore of the Tower of London and watched the spectacle from across the water.

A lumpen form huddled beneath a blanket. Nothing happened for a long while.

He got up. People cheered and clapped and whistled.

He waved. They whistled and clapped some more.

He sat down. They clapped a bit and then looked at each other, unsure of what to do, now that the performance appeared to be over.

That’s the problem with a stunt like this - the show never ends, so it’s difficult for your audience to be anything other than passers-by. They seek out spectacle and novelty and feats of daring and excitement.

If you’re living in a perspex box, the most exciting thing you’re going to do is
a) stand up and wave
b) huddle under a blanket and poo.

Both of these received rapturous applause.

A tour boat glided past and tooted. Blaine waved. Another boat went past, bigger, the other way and parped loudly. Blaine waved. The people on the shore clapped.

That was pretty much it.

Here’s my prediction: I think he’s going to come down out of that box before the full time is up, and I think he’s going to blame his lack of concentration on the British public hounding him.*

Did I mention the other day that I find myself actually quite irritated with the man for wanting people to admire him - “Ooh! Aah!” - when he intentionally starves himself and then pockets £5,000,000?

If he’d given the cash to people who are actually starving and don’t have a choice about it, then I might be less of a woolly liberal about it. It just seems so bloody arrogant.

* and I think this may well have been planned all along, and that there may be some other twist or resurrection-style event yet to happen.

I’ll get my tinfoil hat now.