I’ve never had Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Actuallly, I’ve never had any fast food fried chicken, even though London is peppered with red-and-white liveried rip-off outlets - Tenessee Fried Chicken, Cottage Fried Chicken, Kansas Fried Chicken, you know the kind of thing.

This possibly all stems from an occasion when I was about seven, and asked my mum if we could have a bucket of fried chicken for tea one night, and she referred to it as Kentucky Fried Rat. While I’m not casting doubt on the provenance of the meat in the aforementioned restaurants, I haven’t quite managed to shake the picture since.