So there you are with your Cadbury’s Buttons Easter egg. It’s got a little clear packet of pseudo-Buttons in it - they look like Buttons and taste like Buttons, but without the purple packaging, who could tell the real McCoy? But the chocolate itself tastes like….something else entirely; something which isn’t buttons.

So you’ve got a Kit Kat Chunky Easter egg. It comes in lots of cardboard and plastic packaging. It’s a largish hollow egg, flanked by two proud Kit Kat Chunky bars. But the egg itself doesn’t taste like Kit Kat. It tastes like…. Easter egg.

So you sit down to scoff your luxury Galaxy Truffle Easter Egg. It’s got inpenetrable gold foil on the outside, and it comes underlined by a generous Galaxy bar. But the egg itself is strangely disappointing. Hollow, as you might have expected, but tasting of…Easter egg.

Why do all Easter Eggs taste the same, and not like the product they are supposed to be affiliated with? Is it something to do with the shape? The thin crust of generic chocolate?

Dear Easter Bunny, why?

For the record, this year I consumed precisely 0 chocolate easter eggs, precisely because of this phenomenon. Also, they’re a rip off. Also, I had some fruit batch loaf instead. Which was very nice.