File under: Food & Drink, Recipes

Dinner: Surreal Meal

Date: 13.08.01
Guests: Paul, Catherine, Tom, Ralph, Mo
Menu: Dishwasher Poached Salmon, Lime and Dill Mayonnaise, Parsnip Crisps, asparagus, rocket/spinach salad, fresh berries with cream, ice cream.
Chef: Dave
Conversation: Sleep-talking (sitcoms, “For breakfast I’ll have a handfull of cum and some bacon”), patterned wallpaper that tears your skin to shreds, “Articulate!” game descriptions such as “Na-na-na na-naaaah … Sledge Hammer” (for “Peter Gabriel”), “You’re a Linux man …” (for “connecting”), “It’s somewhere in England …” - “Edinburgh!”, and the best of the night, Mo: “I’m a purveyor of?” … Paul: “Bullshit?”
Proof: > and it was, rather”>here

Dishwasher Poached Salmon

  • Salmon fillets
  • Lime juice
  • Olive oil
  • Salt
  • Cracked black pepper

    With the olive oil, grease the shiny side of 30cmx30cm squares of strong aluminium foil (two fillets per square). Place the fillets in the middle of the foil, side by side, then splash over a tablespoon or two of lime juice and sprinkle liberally with salt and pepper. Gather up the top and bottom edges of the foil so they meet in the middle, then fold down the edges (like you would the top of a paper bag. Then fold in the other edges similarly, so a nice compact parcel is formed. Repeat for the other fillets (if you’re cooking a lot). Hold the packets upside down and give them a bit of a squeeze to make sure they don’t leak. If they do, rewrap them. Place the fillets in the top drawer of the dishwasher and run the machine through a normal cycle. They’ll be all done in 50 minutes or less! [recipe from The Surreal Gourmet]

    Lime and Dill Mayonnaise

  • 3 egg yolks
  • 300ml olive oil
  • 1T lime juice
  • 2T chopped fresh dill
  • Salt
  • White pepper

    Whisk together the egg yolks, lime juice, and a dash of salt and pepper together in a large bowl for a minute or so. Add the oil in small amounts (teaspoon to tablespoon at a time), beating vigourously until the oil is half gone, then pour the remaining oil into the emulsion in a steady stream (find a friend!), whisking constantly. Add the chopped dill and give the whole thing another minute or so’s whisking, then chill before serving with the salmon.

    Parsnip Crisps

    Wash and peel parsnips, then peel them into thin slivers, down to the core. Deep fry the slivers until crispy.


    Luke and Ralph Ralph and Tom Luke and Catherine Mo and Paul Luke and Davo Luke is Eeeeevil Tom Catherine and Tom Tom spying on the naked bloke doing the dishes in the flat across the road. Again.