Cut bacon into strips and fry with pesto and pepper. Add cream. Boil pasta. Crack eggs into pasta on low heat, then add bacon/cream and cheese. Mix feverishly until combined. Serve with parmesan and croutons and pepper.

Stodgy and super-filling, but much appreciated, especially when your guest hasn’t eaten since 7 in the morning because he was at a wake all day and wasn’t clear on the etiquette for asking for a round of toast.