On the way back from Scotland on Monday we had a funny experience in the airport.

We were supposed to fly at 1805, but we ended up returning the hire car a bit early and checking in at 1635 - very early for the 1805 flight. The check-in woman asked if we’d mind being moved onto the earlier flight - the 1705 - which was running ten minutes late, so we’d still be able to get on it. Sure, no problem, we said.

Once we checked in out bags, we rushed through to the gate, where we waited for the 1705 flight to be called.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

By 1745, the delay was still creeping along, with promises to update us about anticipated departure in five minutes. My brother and his girlfriend showed up, because they had been checked onto the 1805 flight. We sat togather and compared drives down from Kilmartin (we’d come via Callander and the Trossachs) and then they got up and boarded their flight - the one we’d originally supposed to be on. Of our 1705 flight, still no sign.

Their plane, the 1805, sat on the tarmac for twenty minutes or so, and then bimbled off into the sky a little after 1830. We continued to wait.

A lady in a polyester uniform came around and handed us free miniature cans of lemonade and packets of salted cashews. We waited some more.

Finally, they gave up trying to fix the problem with the plane and just got us a new plane, which we piled onto and took off just before nine.

The funny bit wasn’t all of this - waiting in departure lounges can rarely be described as amusing. The funny bit was that the whole time we had to wait at the gate, we were sitting next to Bill Oddie, who was small and nut-brown and was wearing the very same yellow T-shirt that he appears to be wearing in this photo - which would certainly explain in retrospect his agitation at the delay, immense desire to get home (expressed by calling his wife every five minutes on the mobile and updating her on the delay: “Hi dear; still in Glasgow. No news yet.”) and that awful, putrid smell.

At least we didn’t end up sitting next to him on the plane, when it finally rolled up.