I’ve just discovered that it’s impossible to buy a single box of tissues when Boots have a two for one offer on.

A rough transcription of my conversation with the shop assistant:

[Meg picks up a box of ultrasoft tissues and takes them to the cash register]

Cashier: [scanning the box] Oh, these are two for one, you know.

Meg: Really? Well, that’s ok, I don’t want the other box.

Cashier: [incredulous] But it’s free

Meg: Yes, I know. But I don’t need it. I’m hoping my cold will have gone by tomorrow.

Cashier: But the second one is free. You don’t have to pay for it.

Meg: Yes, I know. But I only need one. I don’t want the other one.

Cashier: They’re over there. Just go and get another one.

Meg: Honestly, I don’t want another one. I can only fit one in my bag. I just want one box.

Cashier: I’ll get someone to get one for you [pressing service button]

Meg: No…really…that’s not necessary…

Cashier: [to assistant] Could you get this lady another box of ultrasoft tissues? They’re on two for one special offer

Meg: But I…

Cashier: [getting the new box of tissues, and scanning it] There we go. See? It’s free? That’s one pound thirty five, please.

Meg: [handing over cash] *Sigh*

It reminds me of getting pizza at college in Canada. The local (well, 20 miles away) pizza place was called Romeos. They did the most exceptional pizza, but they always had a two for one offer on. You couldn’t physically order one pizza. Even if you called up and gave them the details for one pizza and then hung up really quickly, they would still roll up forty minutes later with the one you actually wanted, and an identical twin pizza.

No! I only need one! Don’t you see? It’s cheaper for you if I only get one!

It got really difficult after a while, because we didn’t really have any spare cash, couldn’t really bear to throw away the unwanted spare, and since we didn’t have anywhere hygienic to save cold pizza till the morning, except under the bed, we couldn’t do that either. This meant that even if only two people wanted pizza, they would have to wander around the campus and try to find a couple of others who fancied a snack too, to split the order.

A whole thirteen bucks.