I’m suffering from Marmite overload. My mouth is rebelling.

I didn’t think it was possible, but I have quite simply had too much marmite on toast over the last few days, and my poor gums are screaming for mercy.

Bad-cop in the deli-from-helli has launched a personal and vociferous attack on my tastebuds this week. Every slice of toast she makes me is slathered with thick black goo - but I don’t complain, because I’m just amazed and pleased to be getting marmite and bread in any combination whatsoever, given that she usually offers me chicken salad on a toasted bagel or ricotta and hummus on ciabatta in response to my morning toast request.

But of course marmite on toast for breakfast is one thing. Marmite on toast for dinner is quite another: how very student! And marmite on toast in bed is a definite no-no - even if someone else makes it for you: the crumbs get everywhere.