Apr 25, 2001
Classic Armenian Deli-ism at lunchtime
Asked for: hummus and roasted vegetable on a brown baguette, no butter.
Got: White buttered baguette. That’s it.
So I had to go back and complain, especially because the latte I asked for was actually dishwater or camel spit or something, as well. So I wait in the queue again, and who do I get to serve me? Bad Cop. Of course.
So after I explained the problem, this is what happened….
Bad Cop: So what you want lady?
Me: ….
[Bad Cop turns away and shouts at the DishPig in Armenian for two minutes]
Bad Cop: What you want lady?
Me: Roasted vegetable and….
Bad Cop: No roasted vegetable lady. What you want?
Me: I’ll have chicken tikka with salad instead
Bad Cop: Which one lady?
Me: Er…chicken tikka?
Bad Cop: Which one lady?
Me: What?
[She points at the solitary dish of chicken tikka in the cold cabinet. There is no Chicken Schnitzel for miles.]
Bad Cop: Chicken Schnitzel?
Me: Chicken Tikka?
Bad Cop: Yes I know, which one lady?
Me: What?
Bad Cop: Which one lady?
[I point to the exact same metal dish of Chicken Tikka, just stuck there looking lonely in the middle of the nearly-empty cabinet]
Bad Cop: Yes lady, yes [in a tone that implies that I am five years old, foreign, deaf and very very stupid]
[She puts it in the empty baguette hands it over. No salad, of course, and she charges me twice.]
So apparently it now appears she has some sort of double vision thing going on as well as the forgetfulness and surrealism that usually make up her personality.











